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StephenColbert

Remember kids! In order to maintain an untenable position, you have to be actively ignorant.
Isn’t an agnostic just an atheist without balls?
There's nothing wrong with stretching the Truth. We stretch taffy, and that just makes it more delicious.
Like any good newsman, I believe that if you're not scared, I'm not doing my job.
Hey, America, are you thinking what I'm thinking? You soon will be.
When life gets you down don't get mad, get Stephen
How many roads must a man walk down before he is run over by an eighteen-wheeler of truth?
The pen is mightier than the sword, if you shoot that pen out of a gun.
Viewers of this show unite! You have nothing to lose but the facts.
The world is a dirty place, and I am America's lemon-scented wetnap.
Is that Truth in my pocket, or am I just happy to see you?
Guess what: The E in E-Mail...stands for 'E-Mail'.
A, E, I, O, U, and sometimes Y? Consonant or vowel? Make up your mind, we're at war.
Librarians are hiding something.
Giving a fly glasses is like giving a bear nunchucks.
Who's buried in Grants Tomb? Give up? I hope the police have too.
Nation, it's time to grab the bull by the horns. If there are no horns --you're grabbing a cow, STOP IT!
February, if you had any balls you'd be three days longer.
BEFRIEND ME! Soon we will defeat Darth Vader!
I now have more followers than Condi!
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