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The meter reader who found Caylee's skull while taking a whiz in the woods definitely earned the cover of "This Week in Public Urination". |
Famous #5s, by sexiness and/or hit songs: Jackson, Chanel, Dave Clark, Mambo, Grandmaster Flash & the Furious, MI, Senate Candidate, Keating |
Damn, I forgot to shift my hands on my steering wheel after we set our clocks back. I've been driving at 9 and 1 for weeks now. |
I had the best abs workout yesterday, I'm still sore. Downside: the workout was vomiting. Upside: toast, banana and water are now delicious. |
I'm always interested in the measure of a man when I first meet him, although it's a little awkward if you start out with the inseam. |
A special and sincere request from a phone call with Peacegirl: "Will you take me where the monkeys are?" |
I feel bad for people who are lactose intolerant yet have to live in the Milky Way. Ah, who'm I kidding, it's fun watching them suffer. |
Thanks, everyone! Yeah, I cut myself open earlier to count the rings to make sure I've added a new one. Aging kinda sucks. Love to all. |
You know you've bought a knock-off nativity scene when the birth of Christ includes Mary, Joseph, wise men, and a Salvation Army bellringer. |
I predict when historians evaluate Tone Loc's oeuvre, they will note that "Funky Cold Medina" had greater cultural impact than "Wild Thing". |
OK, who else was awake at 4:45am standing by their computer waiting for Amazon.com to open? |
Magazine year-end issues go to print 12/1. So if you're a celebrity and want to be included in an obituary wrap-up, please die this weekend. |
also, i have given gps lady a name, and it is Mapollonia. i am the Anointer. |
you know it's a long, lonely drive when you take a detour just to hear the gps lady recalculate your route. |
Some days I'm Michael, taking care of all family business. Today I was Fredo. Tonight I'm drinking. |
AT&T's charging $1.25/mo. to NOT publish my # in the phone book. I'm going to see what Simon & Shuster will pay me not to publish my novel. |
They say too many cooks can spoil the broth, but I still prefer multiple brothmakers working together in case one thinks about peeing in it. |
@hoosiergirl, I don't think I'd want to eat a cake with ass sprinkles, good OR bad. |
Maybe it's my new shampoo or conditioner, or maybe what my stylist has been doing lately, but damn, I'm having a really good pubic hair day. |
When talking to your girl on the phone while looking at your Scrabble tiles online, clarify yourself when you say "I could use another U." |
