Woman: "Are these bathrooms unisex?" Me: "Dunno. Go for it." W: "Thanks!" She goes in, PISSES ALL OVER THE SEAT, and bolts. Thanks New York! about 11 hours ago from web |
My restaurant won't have any "famous" menu items. Only "our infamous Baked Potato" (because no one suspects the baked potato). about 17 hours ago from web |
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I'll be in NYC for the Glitch Mob show tonight at Le Poisson Rouge, which I think is French for 'adjective noun'. 1:18 PM Dec 12th from web |
I know, technically speaking, black holes don't really 'suck'. But then, nor will Audible actually blow me. 10:57 AM Dec 12th from web |
Audible.com is designed like a black hole. It sucks so hard that no information can escape. 10:25 AM Dec 12th from txt |
Launched a startup today! Our business model: we send spam emails, always with the subject "Your order has shipped!" I'm going to be rich. 3:13 PM Dec 11th from web |
The relative nature of hate makes it semantically impossible to hate EVERYTHING, so I've balanced my spectrum by liking pie. Mmm, integrity. 11:00 AM Dec 11th from Twuffer |
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By the way: anytime I pretend to know anything about anything west coast, it probably came from the professionally clued-in @babiejenks 4:47 PM Dec 10th from web |
GIRLS DON'T COUNT YOU TAKE MORE THAN FOUR MINUTES OR SO GOES THE LEGEND. 4:39 PM Dec 10th from web |
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That's it, I'm quitting metaphors cold turkey fuck relapse. 2:32 PM Dec 10th from web |
Target targets Target's Target markets to market targets to Target's target Target target market. 1:14 PM Dec 10th from web |
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Abridged audio books : big, smelly piles of shit :: big, smelly piles of shit : big, smelly piles of shit 11:00 AM Dec 10th from Twuffer |
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It might SEEM like Adobe Acrobat updates itself too often, but bear in mind the complexities of displaying PICTURES OF FUCKING PAPER. 10:00 AM Dec 10th from Twuffer |
Been ignoring emails from the Obama campaign for weeks now, but the provocatively abbreviated subject line "The White Ho..." almost got me. 4:14 PM Dec 9th from web |
Also: I chilled a ham in Pinot. What, you want Zin wine? 12:10 PM Dec 9th from web |