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LiLo and Sam make up in Christmas Tree No. 3, and Amy Winehouse's breakfast gets accused of being a baby bump. about 2 hours ago from TweetDeck |
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And as an added bonus I don't charge extra for Lindsay Lohan boobs, and Plastic Surgery Gone Wrong. about 2 hours ago from TweetDeck |
If you've ever wanted an employee who can incorporate Paris Hilton crotch shots into your workplace Christmas decoration--I'm your gal. about 2 hours ago from TweetDeck |
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At work listening to @ylnt and making christmas trees out of gossip mags. Not sure if it's related but I'm the only one in today. about 4 hours ago from TweetDeck |
I have enough eye crust this morning to feed a whole family of tiny eye crust eating midgets. about 5 hours ago from web |
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Massive stabbing pain in my left ovary. Unrelated: cat in the corner playing with a sweet little effigy of me she made out of her own earwax about 24 hours ago from txt |
To the guy yelling at me out the van window: what I heard was, "I've got a micropenis!". That correct? 4:17 PM Dec 10th from txt |
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I'm going to start carrying around a big bag of Punch 'N The Nuts for the next man who sniffs my hair. 7:10 PM Dec 9th from m.slandr.net |
Changing the ink cartridge only encouraged the little bugger. Now it wants paper as well. 6:36 PM Dec 9th from web |
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