It's hard to be sure now, but I swear I used to have a subscription to whoppervirgins.com and almost none of it had to do with Burger King. about 9 hours ago from web |
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Can anyone explain why professional comedians who use twitter use it for everything except being funny? You're paid to dance, monkeys. about 12 hours ago from Tweetie |
I checked, and the Nile totally is a river in Egypt. That therapist is an idiot. He also can't explain why nobody sees how loveable I am. about 14 hours ago from Tweetie |
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When I was a boy, if you ran a half marathon on snow and ice in bare feet, you lost your toes. That was just how it was, and we liked it. 10:52 PM Dec 11th from web |
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I thought the Shorty Awards were given out for excellence in various categories of R&B star girlfriend skills. 9:36 AM Dec 11th from web |
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Tree is up and decorated! And so begins the three week long cleanup process we like to call "Christmas with cats". 7:37 AM Dec 11th from Tweetie |
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Like some men shave their heads when they start to go bald, when I start to get man boobs I'm going to invest in spectacular implants. 1:11 PM Dec 10th from web |
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