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It's hard to be sure now, but I swear I used to have a subscription to whoppervirgins.com and almost none of it had to do with Burger King. |
To make amends for my nasty comment, lemme take a moment to hype @twitterkins' "Impersonal", which happens to be a favorite comedy record. |
@bcompton why not? I still set fire to bums for free, and the city has been paying me to do that for years. |
Can anyone explain why professional comedians who use twitter use it for everything except being funny? You're paid to dance, monkeys. |
I checked, and the Nile totally is a river in Egypt. That therapist is an idiot. He also can't explain why nobody sees how loveable I am. |
@bsheepies I think "grow the fuck up" is the only sequence of words that really communicates that particular sentiment. Sorry. |
The State is reuniting at SF Sketchfest. That is all. |
@Moltz are you in Oly or is there one of those in Tacoma? |
Pancakes? |
When I was a boy, if you ran a half marathon on snow and ice in bare feet, you lost your toes. That was just how it was, and we liked it. |
@shortyawards I nominate @Moltz in category #isdoingitwrong because I want to fit in. |
I thought the Shorty Awards were given out for excellence in various categories of R&B star girlfriend skills. |
@pattinichols clearly you aren't nourishing the inner aspect. NOURISH IT! |
Tree is up and decorated! And so begins the three week long cleanup process we like to call "Christmas with cats". |
@kellydeal I WANNA GO TO THE CARNIVAAAAAL |
@Moltz Lucky. Your workplace is so progressive. |
Like some men shave their heads when they start to go bald, when I start to get man boobs I'm going to invest in spectacular implants. |
@girlmonkey Oh, I get it. Whenever something goes wrong you just automatically blame an African. RACIST!! |
@lindstifa I don't need a show with a name like that adding to my sexual confusion. |
KAY ELL EEEFFFFFF!!!! UH-HUH UH-HUH UH-HUH |
