Hey there! bearskinrug is using Twitter.
Twitter is a free service that lets you keep in touch with people through the exchange of quick, frequent answers to one simple question: What are you doing? Join today to start receiving bearskinrug's updates.
|
Our largest state is Alaska, which is 3 football fields long. Well, Alaskan football fields. Which are approximately 1/3 the size of Alaska. |
I like living in an older house. All this lead paint ensures that Superman can't watch me masturbate. |
I don't care for the word "Ginormous". If you're going to make up a word, have it describe something we don't already have fifty words for. |
Humans are the only mammals to cry tears. We're also the only mammal that seems to mind being kicked in the crotch. I see a correlation. |
See, there's a very important distinction: An "ass" is a jerk by accident, but an "asshole" is a jerk on purpose. I try to just be an ass. |
It is possible for two different species to produce offspring. So, in theory, a muffin and a cupcake could have a child. |
Fingernails on a chalkboard don't bother me. It's when I find them on my salad that I get skeeved out. |
Which is the more effective prayer: a Hail Mary recited mechanically, or one spoken from the heart, requesting that the car behind me crash? |
If I were rebuilt by the OSI, I'd rather they spent $5m on my bionics, and left the other $1m for my leisure. I can get by with one arm. |
Well... I made it to the funeral. I think I'm wearing a shirt and pants combo that doesn't work. Everyone is crying. |
...so I said, "NOT ALL POEMS NEED TO RHYME, YOU DUMB BITCH!!!". Then security escorted me out. So now, I just use money to pay for things. |
Older »
