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@almightygod I tried several times back when I was in parochial school, but lost interest. Too many family trees, not enough concubines. |
I don't care how normal your interviews are now, Tom, I'm so over you it isn't even funny. I can't just unsee that couch jumping, dude. |
@Mommy4Cocktails I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you. |
If my life were a movie, the song playing in the background while decorating the tree this year would be "Another One Bites the Dust." |
@Piratemama Snow! 10.5"! Anyone who sings "White Christmas" around here gets their ass beat! |
@Kimberle Just further evidence a person can be smart OR super ripped, not both. |
No school, AGAIN! Also, Chia offers herb gardens and edible grass for pets! Who knew?! |
Marveling that Chia Pets are still around after all these years...you see a lot of strange shit on TV when checking on school closings. |
Chevy Chase Xmas! Opened box of wreaths to discover cache of 384 black walnuts. Currently avoiding basement and apparent squirrel boarder. |
@scarbiedoll And y'all have snowshoes and shit, right? (We're taking a fambily trip to Banff/Vancouver and I need to learn the culture.) |
@Hotfessional: 5" of snow so far, starting to change over to freezing rain to add to the mess. Local news says up to 15" possible! HOLY CRAP |
Kids very excited, it's not looking very schooly weatherwise tomorrow. |
Trying to come up with fresh ideas to save Michigan's economy. So far all I've got is bake sales and porn. |
Dear kids, If cleaning your room is such a hardship, why would Santa want to add to the problem? 'Tis the season not to be a slob, dudes! |
What a year for righting wrongs, America! A non-white man elected to the White House and OJ finally being sent to the slammer. |
@jenontheedge They're quieter than usual. The oldest discovered Max and had to tell me. He's a pretty great kid. |
Today the greatest cat in the world passed away. He was orange, 17 years old, deaf, but still wonderful. We will miss you, Max. |
@scarbiedoll Congratulations! If you need an agent, PR rep. or body guard, just lemme know! |
Somehow woke up with Jane Jetson's hairdo. |
Screw Facebook, LinkedIn is a much more professional way to stalk your ex-boyfriends. Wanna join my circle of trust? Direct message me. |
