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textism

RIP Gretchen Mol.
@shortyawards I nominate @guykawasaki for a Shorty Award in #business because stupid greasy cunt ass fuckbitch slag sodomite raglicker twat
Seeking financing for my new feature-length film ‘Lost People Screaming At Their Nüvi to Shut the Fuck Up’.
Why is The Simpsons sucking so hard?Twentieth year slump? Writers strike catching up with us? Why? Why?
At the age of forty two I have a zit so angry it’s affecting the shape of my beard.
Exit row, on the aisle, beside an empty seat. All is forgiven Easyjet, let's hug it out.
Sartre had cut it short: Hell is Other People's Children.
PLUS. In a city this large and populated I ran into Stewart Lee twice in one night. That seems wrong.
ALSO. When drinking in unlicensed after hours Soho with Keith Talent/John Self types, do NOT suggest Morrissey is a homosexualist. NOT.
Against all intentions I am still in England.
At Buckingham Palace, so they must belong to Liz: http://twitpic.com/q3sp
The entire British service industry now flashes a brittle smile whilst mentally calling you a twat in Polish.
According to the signage the caf´e I am in is known for it’s baquettes.
Turns out the literal translation of Wagamama goes, ‘don’t wear white underpants the following day’.
I am in roughest Reading, unarmed, no petrol with which to bargain. Rats the size of children. Tell Gail I love h
1. Bunghole Stretchers 13 2. Whoops I Bit It Again 3. Non C’est Ma Bite 4. HR Reps Gone Wild 5. Om Nom NO TOO BIG 6. Huge Mounds O’Breast...
We shall fight in the fields and in the streets, we shall fight in the hills; we shall never surrender. http://twitpic.com/plzq
Could do a huge greasy vindaloo &c. from the place downstairs, but am sticking with this lo-carb locally grown Waitrose salad. Yep. Yep.
Oh I see. The wankers are all busy shopping at Waitrose.
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