Tried to cheat on spouse / in dream. Couldn't. Jeeze, throw me / a bone, subconscious 12:19 PM Nov 21st from web |
It takes a village / And by "village" hope they mean / "Buttload of TV" 9:44 AM Nov 13th from web |
After sex had to / apply ice to lower back / Me so hernia 8:47 AM Oct 29th from web |
Since baby girl born / Have new laundry sort method / Whites, lights, darks and pink 8:24 AM Oct 20th from web |
Unfortunately / We share bathroom with our son / The Urinator 9:50 AM Sep 10th from web |
Kids: We want sibling! / Me: Great! Go to bed early. / Kids: Ha, ha. Nice try 9:33 AM Aug 7th from web |
Pregnancy has its / perks. Like hearing strangers' views / on circumcision 9:57 AM Jul 31st from web |
Momku shows her tits / At BlogHer. w00t! Baby will / Be attached, but still 9:51 AM Jul 18th from web |
Son stuck paper clip / In outlet "just 'cause." And they / Wonder why I drink 12:07 PM Jul 17th from web |
Someday I'll avenge / You, Turkish kilim. Makers / Of Gogurt beware 11:59 AM Jul 14th from web |
In kiddie pool with / The baby, enjoying free / Urine pedicure 10:38 AM Jul 7th from web |
Bikini shopping / With my thirteen-year-old. Oh, / the humanity 9:40 AM Jun 20th from web |
Oh there never was / A virus more aptly named / Than you, Coxsackie 10:58 AM Jun 16th from web |
Well hello, Stinkeye / Guessing you'd prefer I don / Breastfeeding burka? 12:10 PM Jun 6th from web |
Pregnant with triplets / Hoping uterus designed / To scale vertically 11:43 AM May 30th from web |
Keep forgetting we / Moved to the suburbs. Must stop / Flipping people off 12:19 PM May 20th from web |
Philo T. Farnsworth / Were you alive today I / Would kiss you. With tongue. 9:36 AM May 15th from web |
Can Mother's Day make / Up for cleaning puke out of / A carseat? We'll see. 9:05 AM May 11th from web |
When Obama wins / Then you will get your cookie / So please stop asking 11:57 AM May 10th from web |
Crucial milestone / Reached: Child can now fetch beer / from fridge on command 11:57 AM May 9th from web |