They had to play private sector torture music at Gitmo? The Army couldn't find four idle metalheads in the ranks? We're truly overstretched. about 24 hours ago from web |
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Dear friends and family: my pursuit of that IL senate seat has hit a snag. May need some time to repay those cash loans I asked you for. 7:38 AM Dec 9th from web |
My iPod is dead because I dropped it on the Starbucks floor. I defy you to come up with anything more pathetically contemporary. 10:41 PM Dec 8th from web |
Evidence that your babies share a household with a six-year-old girl: glitter in their diapers. 10:37 AM Dec 7th from web |
Want to find yourself maimed or worse? Get between my family and the prompt removal of our church clothes. No jury would convict us. 10:19 AM Dec 7th from web |
You know what would spread holiday cheer? A village bonfire of everyone's copies of The Polar Express. 12:57 PM Dec 6th from web |
Says the daughter to the son over dessert: "if you really need to, you can drink your pee." He replies: "yep." We are ready for anything. 3:53 PM Dec 2nd from web |
"Dined" last night at my kids' favorite "restaurant:" the freshman dining hall at UVA. $12 feeds two kids and me, puzzled stares are free. 5:27 AM Dec 1st from web |
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Thanks to Twitter, THE_REAL_SHAQ can ask the tough questions, like "why do they call it 'Black Friday'" and "is Fred Rogers still alive?" 2:55 PM Nov 29th from web |
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Hey internet - if mortgage rates keep dropping, just keep it to yourself, okay? 5:06 AM Nov 26th from web |
Three fillings this morning! It was more time to read than I usually get, though. 3:45 PM Nov 25th from web |
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The Kool-Aid I'll never regret drinking: Betty Edwards' "Drawing on the Right Side of the Brain." 2:41 PM Nov 24th from web |
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