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Planning next year's Mother's Day present for Mom. Think I'm gonna get her *two* cards this time, just to make sure she knows I love her. |
So @kungfootv says Twitter made @HenryRollins change his name cuz he's fake: http://snipr.com/59mha. I hope this isn't gonna be trouble. |
Man, this economy IS getting rough; the Floozie Bots aren't raking in nearly as much cash. I might have to switch to Duff! |
@budesigns You bet I live! The professor finally got an office broadband account. Now we can finally use The Amazon, Twitter, and FedEx! |
Hey all you Blip.fm spamming jerks - you ever stop to think that maybe it wasn't such a good idea to name a web 2.0 company "blip?" |
Finally saw that @dylan555 said I'm better than a fake Zoidberg. Darn right I am! That crawfish couldn't tweet his way out of a bathroom. |
Hurt my back bending tonight. Too bad I told those floozie bots to get lost though; they could be gettin' me beer right now. |
Thinking about flushing Nibbler down the toilet again. That never gets old. |
Hey look at that! Those bozos at Wired think I need to be taken down! http://twurl.nl/eqkxmk I got something they can take down right here. |
If a box disappears from the back of a liquor truck when no one's looking, does it make a sound? |
Hey, what kind of party is this? There's no booze and only one hooker. |
@panache Of course you can bite my shiny metal ass! Just do it with some... panache! |
So Twitter finally turned on auto-follow for me. Now I don't have to do anything to look like I actually care what you jerks are doing! |
It was a pain in my shiny metal ass, but I started following a bunch more of you. Twitter folks aren't turning on auto-follow, those jerks. |
So how are we doing on Comedy Central? Frankly, adult swim was better
with the booze and the hookers. |
Maybe you could interface with my ass! By biting it! |
Yea I would've gone to Macworld, but all that stuff's old news to
Bender. Wake me up when I can get a new ass that's light as air! |
Yea that's right: we're back baby! The DVD's out—break out the hookers and blackjack! http://tinyurl.com/2q7aea |
Eh look! That jerk @leolaporte finally came to his senses! |
I say it's a good thing all the writers are striking, but they'd better not come back without more beer! |
