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Everything King Midas touches turnes to gold. Everything Chuck Norris touches turns up dead. |
Chuck Norris is the only man who has, literally, beaten the odds. With his fists. |
Chuck Norris is not Politically Correct. He is just Correct. Always. |
Chuck Norris eats steak for every single meal. Most times he forgets to kill the cow. |
Chuck Norris has two speeds: walk and kill. |
When Chuck Norris goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket. |
When Chuck Norris runs with scissors, other people get hurt. |
Chuck Norris invented cancer because he was tired of killing people |
Chuck Norris doesnt wear a watch, he decides what time it is. |
In a fight between Batman and Darth Vader, the winner would be Chuck Norris. |
Chuck Norris can judge a book by its cover. |
MacGyver can build an airplane out of gum and paper clips, but Chuck Norris can roundhouse-kick his head through a wall and take it. |
Chuck Norris knows the last digit of pi. |
In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself. |
Chuck Norris does not own a stove, oven, or microwave , because revenge is a dish best served cold. |
Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door. |
@chucknorris_ eats steak for every single meal. Most times he forgets to kill the cow. |
It takes Chuck Norris 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes. |
Chuck Norris has 12 moons. One of those moons is the Earth. |
Chuck Norris can make a paraplegic run for his life. |
