Twitter is by far the largest circle jerk I've been in, and I went to art school. At least here I don't have to shield my face. about 4 hours ago from txt |
Archery improves all. Example: Dr. Phil is great, but he'd be even better with my carbon-shafted arrow protruding from his left eye socket. about 5 hours ago from txt |
Seeing DJ Bobbito drop samba. He made my 1st real mixtape, plucked from Fat Beats NYC in '97. Back when I was still wet behind the earbuds. about 19 hours ago from txt |
On the bus: "If I graduate I swear to God. There's gonna be change. Not like when I first got out of jail. Zay don't understand this." about 20 hours ago from txt |
|
My bedroom is an ever-evolving obstacle course that I frequently fail. 1:00 PM Dec 11th from txt |
The less authentic the burrito, the higher its price. Mo' money = mo' problems. 4:47 PM Dec 10th from txt |
|
There's a moth in here, slapping drunkenly against the bare bulb. I'm naming him Icarus and building him wings of bus transfers and earwax. 6:17 PM Dec 8th from txt |
Typical Portland: this cafe is playing an album from the band Of Montreal. Next door, a former member of the same band is slinging coffee. 3:46 PM Dec 8th from txt |
|
My space heater works too well. I fall asleep cozy, but wake up with one pajama leg entangled in a solar flare. 7:40 AM Dec 7th from txt |
Every parent seems to have a long explanation for their child's name. To save myself time, I'm naming my first kid "Whoops." 6:44 PM Dec 6th from txt |
It's always at some point between eating out my girlfriend and going to meet a new client that I realize I'm out of toothpaste. 12:22 PM Dec 6th from txt |
Sipping absinthe for the first time while I play records at Moloko in NoPo for the last time. Come out with your gum out, watch me dumb out. 11:47 PM Dec 5th from txt |
Sniffing a Sharpie doesn't color my vision like I remember. This one's a dud. Use red so if you get too eager it'll look like a nosebleed. 7:01 PM Dec 5th from web |
Getting mocked by two teenage girls in the Lloyd Center Mall Food Court. Wish Ainsley were here to beat them up. 12:18 PM Dec 5th from txt |
|
Social networks trick me into being alone more than being a loner ever did. 2:40 PM Dec 4th from web |
Nobody likes my new glasses, not even @AinsleyofAttack. I've deduced from this experience that Hitler ordered his mustache from eBay. 9:34 PM Dec 3rd from web |