Hey there! fakechucknorris is using Twitter.
Twitter is a free service that lets you keep in touch with people through the exchange of quick, frequent answers to one simple question: What are you doing? Join today to start receiving fakechucknorris's updates.
|
fakechucknorris
Twitter HIJACKED me and called ME fake.... I know where twitter lives... |
Both McCain and Obama have asked me to be their vice president. Don't they know the only government I believe in is a Chucktatorship. |
I don't have a sleep number, I'll sleep when I'm dead. Which you will never see, cause I'll kill you first. |
My dog picks up after me. |
Pink may be the new black, but I am the new Guitar Hero. |
I get my toast out of the toaster with a fork. |
I have a 5G iphone. |
When google has a question, they "norris" it. |
I know the last digit of pi. |
I have my own line at the DMV. |
When Huckabee is president, guests will stay in the Norris bedroom. |
Rosa Parks refused to get out of her seat because she was saving it for me. |
I can get Blackjack with one card. |
I lost my virginity before my dad did. |
Apple pays me 99 cents every time I listen to a song. |
Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet as me. |
There is no 'ctrl' button on my computer. I am always in control. |
I can eat just one Lay’s potato chip. |
There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures I have allowed to live. |
I can sneeze with my eyes open |
