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My phone's GPS says I'm currently in the middle of the Harlem River. Perhaps an alternate me has run afoul of the mob. |
Robert: "In recess, we like to play 'Spy on the Girls,' so we can steal their power and upgrade ours." Me: "Good luck with that." |
@mublogger Sloane. I mean, good Gawd, y'all. |
Helpful hint: If you're battling insomnia, watching "Brazil" isn't exactly the best way to calm your nerves. |
Anyone who argues that all matter is finite has never steam-cleaned a rug. |
Spent the day at an outlet mall. Am Xmasaturated. |
Mom pretended she left the pecan pie at home. Now I have to call my lawyer and cancel the emancipation hearing. |
Citigroup is about to be saved, and my 401k is now worth 1.5 toasters. |
Lucky pants worked again! And lo, a full-fledged superstition was born. |
First workout in 6 weeks! I want to kiss everyone, as soon as they stop vibrating. |
As a former Citigroup employee, I'm wondering whether to cash in my 401k and buy a toaster. |
@mublogger absltly. They bonk all over the house and pour liquor on each other. It helps to have a thing for Rene Russo, I spose. |
Can you get ADD in your forties? There's so much going on, that I can't concentrate enough to finish anythi |
@mublogger Rene Russo and Pierce Brosnan in The Thomas Crown Affair. And that dress that slips languidly to the floor ... |
Live music at the coffee bar! Keyboard, violin, tuba, and lots of atonal warbling! |
A good friend just confessed she's bulimic. How can I help her?. If you have any good resources or advice, please DM me. Thanks. |
My nephew is squalling throughout his christening. Satan is not leaving without a fight. |
Showing my boys "Cinderella," so they can see what incredible dicks people can be. |
Attention retailers: If you make a necktie with tessellating soup stains on it, I'll take a dozen. |
Award for inspired background music goes to "Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me" for playing "Our House" after Barney Frank's segment. |
