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It's pouring rain, my lady-friend is making waffles, and I'm doing last week's crossword. She shows me the batter: "Does this look right?" about 2 hours ago from web |
Girl: I found Diane Keaton irritating in Annie Hall. Me: Diane Keaton's been irritating in everything she's done. Girl: She's no Mia Farrow. about 2 hours ago from web |
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Sat night alone at the movies. A pretty girl was there, also alone. She sat behind me, and stayed thru the end credits. But her hat was gay. about 16 hours ago from web |
Offering my services as life-coach: $500/hr to listen to your problems. This week only: 50% off the time it takes to tell you what I think. about 20 hours ago from web |
Reading about a chic, architect-designed house. The clients are a young couple, "a songwriter and a life-coach." Oh, you mean: rich parents. about 22 hours ago from web |
At what point was it decided that all modern sectional couches would have a "chaise" component? Does no one else find the chaise disgusting? about 22 hours ago from web |
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I am the Buddy Rich of "fingertips on tabletop" drummers: rock, jazz, afro-Cuban, whatever. Available for session work if I dig your stuff. 3:37 PM Dec 6th from web |
I update my status every day at 4:30AM. Then I talk to my friends, the airplane pilots, by yelling up the chimney. Thusly, I stay connected. 4:49 AM Dec 6th from web |
I'm not some guy who just goes around correcting people's grammar. I only correct the bad grammar. 4:27 AM Dec 6th from web |
My eighty-year-old Uncle Jack is visiting from Alaska. He was Sen. Ted's law partner in the 60s. His take? "Alaskans are different, dammit!" 12:06 AM Dec 6th from web |
Watching any episode of M.A.S.H. from after the mid-70's is like listening to my junior high guidance counselor talk about my "potential." 6:16 PM Dec 5th from web |
Speaking of Bernadette Peters, just saw "Heartbeeps" on the cable I keep meaning to cancel. It didn't change my plan Re: canceling cable. 5:58 PM Dec 5th from web |
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I'm not trying to usurp anyone's "hobo meme." I noticed a dearth of former hobos on the internet and am offering my services: a Hobo Lorax. 5:44 AM Dec 5th from web |
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