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Bow hunting season opened today in Minnesota for inflatable Xmas yard decor. I bagged my limit. 7:35 AM Dec 6th from txt |
Fresh falling snow does an impressive job covering fresh dog shit. Unrelated: Do you smell something? 4:55 PM Dec 5th from txt |
Zillow now claims that my home's value increased 20% in 12 months. Just because I've lived there shouldn't increase it by THAT much. :-) 11:39 AM Dec 4th from twhirl |
"I Invented Office Cubicles With Radiant Heating Guy" would get all the girls. That guy does not exist. 9:32 AM Dec 4th from twhirl |
"May I please have a glass of wine? Red wine. Preferably something French, merci beaucoup." #UndoingTheDamageOfThePast8Years 2:19 PM Dec 3rd from twhirl |
Sadly, George W Bush will be remembered as the president who failed to win the War on Christmas. #bushlegacy 1:35 PM Dec 3rd from twhirl |
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Which Minnesota based company makes America fattest? Cargill (Corn Syrup)? General Mills (Dough Boy)? Best Buy (HDTVs)? Hormel (Spam)? 7:50 AM Dec 3rd from twhirl |
Ira Glass could host story-offs where people share their best personal story on stage and Ira immediately retells their story, but better. 7:12 PM Dec 2nd from twhirl |
A guy within earshot who's an encyclopedia of knowledge on food contamination will not ruin my cheese fries enjoyment. 3:16 PM Dec 2nd from txt |
Condi played the piano at Buckingham Palace? I'm afraid my instrument would cause an international incident. 5:38 PM Dec 1st from txt |
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Looks like it's "Bring Your Laptop to Dinner Night" at @commonroots except for a few mouth breathing Chicago Bears fans. #FIBs 3:47 PM Nov 30th from txt |
I hate when gambling addicts and nicotine addicts clog up the line at the gas station when I'm trying to buy caffeine. 11:25 AM Nov 29th from twhirl |
Great news: No one was shot or trampled during the delivery of UPS and USPS packages to my home today. #blackfriday 4:08 PM Nov 28th from txt |
Help me out here: What do kids make in pottery classes now that ashtrays have lost their allure? 6:50 PM Nov 25th from txt |