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How sad is it that in five years of membership, I have never been "in a relationship" on Facebook? |
had a lock of hair come out in his hand while styling this morning and therefore officially no longer cares about anyone else's problems. |
is having a status-message-heavy day. |
Hey, Starbucks! Just donate a bunch to AIDS! None of this 5 cents crap. You make way more than that per drink, and you look like a tool. |
Tiny boy, little boy, baby boy, I need you! http://ping.fm/JTPi1 |
recognizes that a long time ago, we used to be friends, but he is forced to admit that he hasn't thought of you lately at all. |
is unable to work for the suspense of the election! Or maybe the suspense of his Buffy audiobook. Either way, he wants the afternoon off. |
If you despise yourself, is it called masturhating? |
is glad he arrived at his day-long training early so he could sit in back corner where nobody can see all his time-wasting activities. |
would like to announce that last night's McDonald's pig-out was a complete success: 2100 calories consumed before Xena title credits ended. |
Reason #57248 Against Children: When you tell them "Shh!" they do that loud whisper thing that's just as noisy as talking but more annoying. |
wonders what about his power walk, cup of coffee, and tie/cardigan combo suggested "Yes, I am a hooker trying to find a 65-year-old john." |
is cataloging the music to The Princess Diaries 2: Royal Engagement! Eeeeeeeeeee! |
is spending the afternoon browsing the facebook profiles of all his successful ex-boyfriends. NOT RECOMMENDED! |
Jafar, Jafar, he's our man! If he can't do it, GREAT! |
Ok, y'know what, I liked that song the first time around and now it makes me want to kill myself. |
likes Rye Rye because she really sounds like a little girl. http://ping.fm/G8JBA |
I cured leukemia and all I got was this lousy doughnut. |
wonders if he's ever been a character in the story "My friend made out with the ugliest/fattest/most horrible guy at the bar last night!" |
"I'm not a princess! I'm a QUEEN!" AAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! |
![Lisa [Falc]](https://webarchive.library.unt.edu/eot2008/20081215072102im_/http://s3.amazonaws.com/twitter_production/profile_images/56150761/16296560234242744824___150_500_150_600_08a9f2db__mini.jpg){kind=small}
