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Abby just balked at my mention of the "New" Testament. Or maybe it was my bacon sandwich. ...Or my swastika. |
It's the Transgender Day of Remembrance. I'm new and not sure what to do. Figure I'll just sit here and remember _really_ hard. |
Not gonna sweat my Wii Fit age. Everyone knows those tests are culturally biased. |
Yeah, there are people on TV.com arguing about Chief Wiggum's age, so don't you talk to _me_ about 'time management'. |
Apparently overweight women are more likely to become criminals. Explains why my bank's slogan is NO FAT CHICKS. |
I will be awarding bonus points to any journalist referring to the Somalian pirates as 'ne'er-do-wells', 'scallywags' or perhaps 'ruffians'. |
Sucks that I can't tweet about workmates an' stuff. Probably evened-out by living with a woman who thinks Google Reader runs on 'magic'. |
Turns out Planned Parenthood has bullet-proof glass. I guess vengeful zombie-babies pack heat. |
Triple-tied my trainers. Not worried. Don't have to get out of them for hours. Future-Avery can deal with that shit. |
Um, you guys _do_ realise that Obama only won because we're living in the New Willenium, right? |
Last couple days growth have pushed toenails into 'talon' territory, but I can't find the clippers. Just gonna play it off I'm _proud_. |
Dear My Middle-School Gym Teacher: Side stitch, cramping, and the fact that you are a massive tool. Three things that you can't "walk off". |
What pisses me off about this Motrin thing is that it's yet another ad that rips off those "[blank] in typography" vids from _last year_. |
"Call me crazy, but I'm an optomist." I am going to call you crazy, because you spelled 'optimist' wrong. |
I'm so terrified of wood burrowing down into my skin that I'm sitting here hoping this splinter is 'just' melanoma. |
Traveled all day to meet @tony_d. Missed twitter. Gonna go to sleep rather than catch up. Oh and something hilarious because I am hilarious. |
Even a second of sentience is something to envy - and we get a whole lifetime full of it.
Ooh! Time to check Facebook! |
I will build glorious machines.
And then fight them for money. |
I'm a big believer in coincidences. Let's hope the jury is, too! |
Feel guilty about driving to dinner - could've walked it if I had a coat. Oh, and stamina. |
