Me and my neighbor are playing Bacon Wars, apparently. You guys should come over. about 10 hours ago from web |
Also, thanks to the tweeps who've asked where I've been. I've been nowhere you want to hear about, but I appreciate it sincerely. xo 9:29 PM Dec 6th from web |
Got the Indian food but they forgot to give me the sauce that I like. It's a disappointment AND a life metaphor. 9:21 PM Dec 6th from web |
The part where I punch the package of ramen...that's my favorite part. Of life. 6:42 PM Nov 25th from web |
Riiight, so marijuana is still considered a Schedule I drug but I can buy a five pound bag of Skittles for $1.99? 1:05 AM Nov 11th from web |
Google Street View for Seattle, finally. They blurred out the "No Iraq War" sticker on my window. My ass cheeks, OTOH: crystal clear. 12:22 PM Nov 10th from web |
Sleep. Eat. Sleep. Eat. Sleep...Aw fuck, I've turned into my cats. Neuter me? 7:53 PM Nov 9th from web |
Mmm. Tamales for dinner. Hot ones. (The candy kind.) 6:47 PM Nov 8th from web |
Eff it. I need a job. Please hire me. Skills: Sleeping in, staring at the Internet, candy. 2:11 PM Nov 6th from web |
If my neighborhood is any indication, the real winner tonight is honking. 10:14 PM Nov 4th from web |
Hooray. I'm conceding to these celebratory black bean tacos. 8:31 PM Nov 4th from web |
|
|
Fuck you, overpriced Indian food. Fuck you right in your $10 chole. 6:15 PM Nov 2nd from web |
In trying to keep my costume as true-to-life as possible this year, I decided to be a crying snooze button covered in cat hair. 10:14 AM Oct 31st from web |
No, no...I completely understand. I'd probably unfollow me, too, if that was possible. 12:06 PM Oct 29th from web |
|
I used to think I wasn't a big enough asshole enough to win at life; now I know I'm just the wrong kind of asshole. Glad I figured that out. 10:27 PM Oct 27th from web |
|
I may be nearly bald, but inside there's an even bald-er man just dying to get out. Fucker. 12:28 PM Oct 27th from web |