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Jay Laney’s Favorites

ed casey
edcasey @jokerwonga It's a small miracle every day that the majority of your blood stays inside your body.
Dean Cameron Allen
textism At the age of forty two I have a zit so angry it’s affecting the shape of my beard.
Adam Lisagor
lonelysandwich Most flickr comments on naked lady pics read like a guy trying to teach photography to his boner.
hotdogsladies
hotdogsladies Via Top Chef, my favorite new term: "warm chocolate component." Because a morning of strong coffee leads to serious molecular gastronomy.
hotdogsladies
hotdogsladies I'd like to see more "killer tips" turn on their author.
hotdogsladies
hotdogsladies Yelp is LiveJournal for depressed people with credit cards.
Scott Simpson
scottsimpson The dads have begun to play Competitive Bouncy House. Moms looking on, disappointed as usual.
Jette Swan
jette @jokerwonga: your parents are my inspiration for my own childrearing efforts. They've clearly done an excellent job.
ed casey
edcasey I wish I spoke Spanish because based on his tone and inflection the guy shouting outside my window last night had some interesting ideas.
Dean Cameron Allen
textism Getting used to the high-speed mouse-shaped blur across the floor every time I enter the kitchen. #fucking_useless_cat
Dean Cameron Allen
textism OKAY SO RED BULL HAS ARRIVED IN FRANCE AND I HAVE TO SAY IT TASTES LIKE BUBBLEGUM AND ASS BUT HOLY FUCK AM I DANCING A LOT.
Dean Cameron Allen
textism A six gigabyte torrent entitled ‘The Best of The Price Is Right’. I’m not kidding.
hotdogsladies
hotdogsladies Just once, I'd like to see a children's theater group revive "Glengarry Glen Ross."
hotdogsladies
hotdogsladies Just coined term: "Gruber-types." Not sure what it means. Prob. includes all perfectionist Yankees fans with an iPhone and a hilarious wife.
verdandi
verdandi Power went out, & it was just announced that a transformer exploded. Have an urge to shriek, "NOT OPTIMUS PRIME!" Which would NOT be funny.
hotdogsladies
hotdogsladies We'll never get these guys to quit saying "FAIL." At this point, it's in their DNA. Like steampunk, Cheetos, and crying while masturbating.
hotdogsladies
hotdogsladies They should make a fannypack that plays the opening of "Roundabout" whenever the wearer uses the phrase "in-universe." As a public service.
Scott Simpson
scottsimpson Barry Zito! The shouting man in Section 122, Row 28, Seat 8 has some salient tips regarding your curveball!
Adam Lisagor
lonelysandwich I unfairly judge whoever lands in my Twitter stream next to Obama. "I spoke in Jordan and just landed in Israel." "I ate hamburger. Yummy!"
Scott Simpson
scottsimpson Just like you should never talk to a New Yorker about food, NEVER ask a San Franciscan about the weather. We get it. The summer is cold!
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