 | bcompton Instead of livetweeting the debate, I will be writing Palin/Biden slash fiction. I call it, "From Alaska to Amtrack: A Heartbeat Away" 2:01 PM Oct 2nd from twitterrific |
| bcompton Ooh, you like that, economy? John McCain's gonna fix you up right... nice and slow and OH GOD OH GOD. Uh, that's never happened before. 1:41 PM Sep 29th from web |
 | Moltz Hadron Collider. Pff. You know it's just a big cock ring for perverts into subatomic porn, right? 8:41 PM Sep 9th from web |
 | glenda So, of course I'm the jerk in the Vegas male strip club with the laser pointer! For everything else, there's MasterCard. 9:30 PM Sep 5th from web |
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 | Ihnatko Letterman: "I want a President who has enough common sense to have had a 5-minute conversaton with their daughter about birth control." 8:50 PM Sep 2nd from web |
 | hodgman Palin will almost certainly woo away all of Hillary Clinton supporters who are pro-life and pro-gun. 10:12 AM Aug 29th from web |
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 | scottsimpson "So Adam is this Alone Sandwich?" God I sound like such a douche trying to explain my nerd life to my mother. 10:29 PM Jun 26th from web |
 | hotdogsladies "Social Media" has become sad shorthand for people who think airlines, hucksters, and Rails programs have the capacity for human friendship. 9:01 PM Jun 26th from web |
 | Mike_FTW Shit. Pissed off that fucker Carrot Top outlives that cunt Carlin and that cocksucker Hicks. Life is a motherfucker. At least there's tits. 12:04 AM Jun 23rd from web |
 | buzz In New York you pretend not to notice the celebrities. In SF you pretend not to notice the naked people. 6:12 PM Jun 7th from web |
| hotdogsladies BO:"Checkmate." HC:"No, I'm still in." BO:"Check the board; I won." HC:"No, I still have two roundhead guys and a horse." BO:"OK. Whatever." 8:05 PM Jun 3rd from web |
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 | AmyJane Fuck you in the eye, Twitter. I needed to publicly humiliate my husband two hours ago and you really let me down. 5:48 PM May 23rd from web |
| hotdogsladies Ok, I get it. "Cupcakes" is code for "downtown lady kisses." As in "I'm going to break up with him if he doesn't start giving me Cupcakes." 9:25 AM May 23rd from web |
| scottsimpson My son had a dream that "Dr. Seuss" cut off his penis. Cancel the paternity test, Maury: this one's definitely mine. 8:42 AM May 23rd from web |
| hotdogsladies Something about the "Good Friends" cereal couple screams "occasional sangria followed by unexpectedly rough sex." 8:16 PM May 22nd from web |
