Nick Douglas’s Favorites

	fireland Just found a Post-It wedged in my navel that says: "Lose weight and take more showers!!" OMG it's dated 4/24/05. 7:56 AM Dec 11th from web
	InsoOutso Fu manchus are like strippers - fun to look at, but they'll make you itch if you put one on your face. 5:03 PM Dec 10th from web
	bethylefty Now that I own a tarot deck, sleight of hand would -really- come in handy. 3:50 PM Dec 10th from web
	detweiler @phyllisstein I have a pile of "maybe jokes", but it got mixed in with my pile of "hopes and dreams." Now I really can't tell them apart. 3:43 PM Dec 10th from TwitterBerry in reply to phyllisstein
	bethylefty "Mannequins are like statues in honor of people who bravely don't wash new clothes before wearing them." - more BB 10:44 AM Dec 10th from web
	marklisanti I've been calling people gay all morning, but they seem annoyed and confused. Am I doing something wrong? 10:31 AM Dec 10th from web
	Remiel It might SEEM like Adobe Acrobat updates itself too often, but bear in mind the complexities of displaying PICTURES OF FUCKING PAPER. 10:00 AM Dec 10th from Twuffer
	printartist French Connection clerk was so goddamn smarmy I wanted to tell him to go fcuk himself. 7:08 PM Dec 9th from web
	riebschlager Watching _Pulp Fiction_ on basic cable is like reading a book that had all of its adjectives replaced with "nice". 6:55 PM Dec 9th from web
	seanhussey Boy was in a bad mood, so I started to dance to the radio to get him to smile. "NO! No dance!" Now I know just how Kevin Bacon felt. 6:36 PM Dec 9th from twitterrific
	Mike_FTW Calling in curious, taking a half-day tomorrow. 6:10 PM Dec 9th from web
	nictate "Why should you serve time for a crime someone else noticed?" 4:18 PM Dec 9th from web
	Moltz Illinois... don't you have something you'd like to say to Alaska? 1:33 PM Dec 9th from web
	hoosiergirl I think the bird of love is the dove. My husband thinks it's the swallow. 8:49 AM Dec 9th from web
	hotdogsladies When you check-in to your hotel and they go, "Business or Fun?" say, "Funeral for both parents." They'll skip the other marketing questions. 4:57 AM Dec 9th from web
	hotdogsladies Whenever I hear a baby referred to as "a hard weaner," I get uncomfortable on many levels. 7:51 PM Dec 8th from web
	nictate Dear Firestone store- We may quibble about this, but "Tire Blowout" may not have been the optimum name for your sale. 5:35 PM Dec 8th from web
	jimray I find that when most people write 'IMHO' in blog comments, what they really meant to type was 'FY' 4:53 PM Dec 8th from twitterrific
	Tony_D There's a toothbrush called the "Triumph". Are there really that many people who feel they fail at brushing their teeth to justify this? 4:41 PM Dec 8th from twitterrific
	riebschlager Coincidentally, the town I grew up in only had 140 characters. The remaining 24 people weren't really that interesting. http://hordville.org 6:23 AM Dec 8th from web