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I do not knows what Mom's been doin in the bathroom, but she smells disgusting. Like flowers that haven't been pee'd on. so gross. 1:05 PM Nov 14th from Matt |
So tired of this place. I'm otta here. I's stayin at my girlfriends place for a bit. No, she's not my baby mama. Still lookin fer her. 2:45 PM Oct 31st from Matt |
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Was just turned away from the pollz for the color of my fur. And the fact that I hadz fur. 4:30 PM Oct 19th from Matt |
God. How did I get stuck in this family. Why couldn't I haz a cool family. 9:05 AM Oct 19th from Matt |
Got used as a chew toy. By a dog about 24.7 times bigger then me. It wuz AWESOME! 12:10 PM Oct 18th from Matt |
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Mom's talking about putting me on a diet. That's the pot calling the kettle fat. Have you seen the size of her gut lately? Srsly. 8:05 AM Sep 29th from Matt |
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Mom shut the laptop, but is still just laying on the couch. I'm so confused. 2:09 PM Sep 23rd from txt |
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Apparently I'm going to have a brother. I can't wait to lick his tasty, tasty fingers. I hope he likes sausage. 10:41 AM Sep 22nd from txt |