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 | jkottke That I'm listening to Metallica and GnR *and* have last.fm monitoring turned off: purely coincidental. 8:42 AM Sep 4th from web |
 | essdogg I dreamt last night that my brain was put in Justin Timberlake's body to create the ultimate soldier. It could happen. 8:37 AM Sep 4th from TweetDeck |
 | lonelysandwich Why jazz musicians are awesome: they've been told that puns, rayon and sincerity are no longer cool, and they just don't give a fuck. 3:10 PM Aug 20th from web |
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| Mike_FTW Remember when we all twittered about lunch, what we're wearing, and passed little notes to each other?
Well, I just buried a dead hooker. 1:14 PM Jul 23rd from twitterrific |
 | gknauss I'm concerned that our next president might have been influenced by what they heard over decades in church, and actually believe in God. 10:44 AM May 2nd from web |
 | AmyJane We've been married too long: I went into John's office to give him a package. I was topless (of course!). He squealed, "OOOOOOOH, JETPENS!" 9:04 AM May 2nd from web |
| gknauss My proposed Twitter value-add start-up in 140 characters: It will let you stab selected followers in the face. 2:50 PM Apr 28th from web |
 | hotdogsladies Email's like a some 17th c. punishment where you're made to sprint 3 feet. But you have to do it 900 times a week or everyone will HATE you. 8:57 AM Apr 4th from web |
| gknauss Dear spammers: "Your mom naked" is not a subject that's going to get me to open an e-mail. 6:08 AM Apr 4th from web |
| jkottke "After the jump" is the web's equivalent to the local news' "Your child could die today. Find out how at 11 after The Bachelor." 4:16 AM Apr 3rd from web |
| essdogg Just had the feeling I'm going to be a paranoid dad when Spence is a teen. Probably because of what I did when I was a teen. 5:15 PM Apr 1st from web |
| hotdogsladies Do we need a "Prefer Nonstop Flights" checkbox? Should I also tick "Prefer Not To Be Flayed Alive" and "Prefer Not To Be Blinded by Lasers"? 2:17 PM Apr 1st from web |
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