 | bcompton Okay, genius. If "great suffering produces great art," explain to me how my 12 minute emo epic about my broken TiVo quote-unquote sucks? about 16 hours ago from web |
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| bcompton I just lost my sense of smell. Come back, sense of smell! Wait, let me clean out the litter boxes first. 7:40 AM yesterday from web |
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 | Moltz Hank, calling on the intercom from downstairs: How do you say "doctor" in Japanese?
Me: Isha.
H: OK, bye.
Me: OK. Love you!
H: Bye. 9:37 AM Dec 5th from web |
 | CcSteff Stop honking, people. I will cease weaving into your lane once I find the chapter in my car manual that explains this flashing red light. 4:54 AM Dec 5th from Hahlo |
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| bcompton There sure are a lot of rules about how we're s'posed to use twitter. Use it as a tool. Don't post "favrd bait." Stop having fun. I give up! 4:07 PM Dec 3rd from web |
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 | Halcyon Was thinking of adding a "use hardcore pornography as packing materials?" option to my Etsy store. (Recycling starts at home, kids!) 11:33 AM Dec 2nd from web |
 | aedison I don't know what I like more; making these cheese sandwiches, or eating them. Or Batman. 6:08 AM Dec 2nd from web |
| bcompton Boy, is my son gonna be embarrassed when he finds out that the rules of Sorry don't actually call for a ten-minute pre-game ceremonial hug. 10:10 AM Dec 1st from twitterrific |
 | InsoOutso I love watching the large women at Sam's Club as they mentally undress the items in my shopping cart. 7:21 AM Dec 1st from web |
| awryone Sarah Silverman is 38 today.
Continuing the tradition,
I must masturbate 38 times today.
I should say 28 MORE times today. 6:33 AM Dec 1st from web |
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