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Take it from me. Galvanizers work hard. #alwaysbezincing |
Why is this iPhone taking so LONG?! #alwaysbesyncing |
@mikemorrow I'll drink to that! #alwaysbeclinking |
When is @apelad going to chime in? #alwaysbeinking |
Take care grooming eyebrows with an electric clipper. With great power comes great obliteration.
Unrelated: What are you looking at? WHAT?? |
Hm. Turns out Obama *IS* a Muslim. He's abolishing pork! Boy, is MY face red. |
@toldorknown That would look awesome in Chinese. "Do Not Enter" would look good too, but a tramp stamp is like a welcome mat to the butthole |
@ohheygreat I have no kids and a cute cat. And look: http://twitter.com/smartass... |
I smell pancakes. Either I'm having a debilitating brain aneurysm, or I'm on a Twitter-themed vision quest. |
@vmarinelli Now I know to wash your gold stars given while your brown star was exposed. |
@eyeteegee Thank Goddess I'm a happy drunk! |
@andreakremer Yeah, that's the predominant interpretation. English is complex. The way I meant it is also valid. Tone of voice conveys a lot |
Being a recovering Grammar Nazi, Jim Morrison lost me @ "If I was to say to you..." 3 Dog Night had me @ "If I were the king of the world.." |
@CcSteff Too bad you can't just open that window and pitch it to the ground when it's old & dried out. |
@Mike_FTW Is this another "someone is dead" prank? |
What? Just converting porn to watch on my phone. What did you THINK I was doing? |
I have to throw away an insert in my Poland Spring bill that tells me the new jug cap is better for the environment cuz it has less plastic. |
@Kalli I say organize a "brown party." UPS double entendres and Canadian political jokes are just the start. You're already way ahead. |
@Kalli You know who else had a brown suit from an army? |
