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Message from a girl who was my camper 20 yrs ago (her 12, me 18) asked why I didn't "date" her then. Send her link to the criminal code |
Is there a commodities exchange one can trade illicit drugs futures on? |
Why are you celebrating a big hit when you're losing 56 to 7? |
Overheard: "I had to tell him I have huge hands to sooth his ego". (And that ends my train ride home.) |
Overheard: "I thought he could be Mr. Right, until he thought he was Mr. Right Now." |
Ever notice that guys selling umbrellas in the rain aren't using the same crappy ones they're selling? |
Heading to The Rubicon Project's new NYC office. Hope it doesn't take me too long to get there.... |
@ceonyc apparently times are tough for Dr. Zizmor too |
Adding to my "There should be a law" file: I should not be allowed to pick individual stocks. |
@howardlindzon you mean that's a real picture of you? And to scale? |
Whenever a female asks me how old I think she is I say 21. Strikes me as the "safest" answer. |
@howardlindzon if you had said Hanukkah.... |
Is there a word for renewing URLs you've never used fearing others will make a fortune off them (other than squat or stupid)? |
Son: "Why do they care how much celery the Knicks eat?" Me: "No, it's a *salary* cap, not a *celery* cap." |
Wife said my picture with dumb grin didn't look too stupid. "You look stupider in person." |
How do you move an illegally parked car if there's a huge "this car is parked illegally" sticker on the windshield? |
@ev that can be the first game. Guess how many games you didn't know about. |
@kentgoldman apparently I have a greater chance of getting divorced then my wife does. |
China buys naming rights to US http://tinyurl.com/57h5x5 |
The # of people who ask me to review their severance agreement for them is a good economic indicator. Not pretty. |
