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Watching Saturday Night Fever and realizing A) how much Boogie Nights owes to it and B) as a kid, the LP was much more than a joke to me. about 6 hours ago from Birdhouse |
"Condiment delivery has made vast technological strides in just two decades." From my as yet unwritten treatise on TBD subject. about 6 hours ago from Birdhouse |
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I can use the new Facebook Connect, for instance, to promote the presence of my balls across a worldwide network of social foreheads. about 10 hours ago from Birdhouse |
An article on my mom in the local paper says I'm a dedicated environmental and community activist. Someone's gonna lose their job over this. about 13 hours ago from Birdhouse |
My favorite part of the morning is my dog watching me get ready; he's just a dumb dog, mystified by my powers of bedmaking and pantswearing. about 16 hours ago from Birdhouse |
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I never know what to say to people at the dogpark. Saying nothing, smiling, and nervously scratching my dog's butt usually does the trick. 9:19 PM Dec 3rd from Birdhouse |
Usage: "How long will you be in there?"
"As long as it takes. I'm undoing the damage of the past eight years."
"Matches are in the drawer." 1:56 PM Dec 3rd from Birdhouse |
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Posing as my girlfriend on a MobileMe support chat. It's IM, so why am I wearing her blouse? Because it goes well with her earrings. Duh. 5:26 PM Dec 2nd from web |
There is nothing that is not awesome about disc two of the Criterion edition of 'Bottle Rocket'. Full success. Order yours today. 2:48 PM Dec 2nd from Birdhouse |
RT @razorwitted "once sat in a restaurant in Boston, watching Martin Scorsese watch America's Funniest Home Videos on the bar's flat screen" 7:07 PM Dec 1st from web |
I'm not claiming to be intelligent or cultured, but I can't be the only reasonable, bipedal person to revere America's Funniest Home Videos. 6:12 PM Dec 1st from Birdhouse |
The only thing more tragic than being hunched over a leftover pie at 5am is not being hunched over a leftover pie at 5am. #oscarwildeday 4:59 AM Dec 1st from Birdhouse |
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Charmed nearly to death by a lady jogger passerby whose pants seat, reading 'Fuck Off', sagged to bare 3 inches of crack. Be still my heart. 3:35 PM Nov 30th from Birdhouse |