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 | LameBush There's this one guy, Sergio, and his only job is to come in on Friday and check your email. It's cool though. He has an ID badge and stuff. about 18 hours ago from web |
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 | ivegotzooms Want to guess what my stupid mouth said to an important person who got on an elevator with me and said hi? "These are not my real shoes." 10:03 AM Dec 3rd from web |
 | secretsquirrel Forgot I had earphones on and sang out loud. Guy on the treadmill next to me seemed quite surprised to hear she was just a small town girl. 7:14 AM Dec 3rd from twhirl |
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 | thedayhascome I would complain about the dishwasher not working, but since she's pregnant I'll let it slide.
I'm a dead man when my wife sees this. 4:40 PM Dec 2nd from web |
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 | Remiel Security: Working late again? Me: Yup. S: You always work late. Me: It's quiet. SG: Ha, yeah, that's why I like it, too! So, where you from? 5:22 PM Dec 1st from web |
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 | Kalli I once shook my moneymaker. Let's just say that she wasn't appreciative of the gesture. 4:13 PM Dec 1st from web |
 | vmarinelli Once, "horizontal hostility" was my term for "infighting among oppressed classes." Now, it conjures "anger fucking." Thanks, Twitter. 4:05 PM Dec 1st from web |
 | fireland Man, Grandpa's really going for the record with his Thanksgiving nap. Sleeping with his eyes open, even. I bet he learned that in the War. 12:18 PM Dec 1st from web |
| fireland I didn't get where I am today by explaining things to retards, so either pick a dipping sauce or have your baby shower at another Chili's. 1:38 PM Nov 21st from web |
| fireland Kids, a Halloween ghoul just appeared and ate all your candy and smeared delicious chocolate on my face! Did you forget to pray last night?! 9:58 AM Oct 31st from web |
