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bethylefty

Writing an email to my roommate to apologize for keeping her up last night - the real culprit was this video: http://tinyurl.com/58s2ok
You had me up until the words, "Sunday morning, we'll meet before noon. A half hour bus ride's worth from your home."
Anyone remember the show Greg the Bunny?
"Could someone please get this Puritan/Jewish guilt out of my subconscious?" -synopsis of conversation with my ex last night
"I saw a guy on the bus this morning with a gorgeous face, but a cah-razee pirate moustache. I had so many questions for him." -my coworker
Why do collection agencies always call on FRIDAYS?!
Being good friends with my first serious ex makes me feel like we're 'Nam vets - we drink & laugh over the old times, cry on the inside.
Though adamant writing isn't my vocation, I will still say yes when asked "Would you write a _____ for me?" My calling must be homework.
Today is Friday! In my mind! TGIFIMM! Let's get drunk!
Really really needing to pee increases the speed of my work - I wonder if Henry Ford factored this into his vision of the assembly line.
This fly has been bothering me all day - doesn't it realize my nectar is spoken for?! (Seriously, though, this thing is driving me insane.)
2:00 p.m. on Wednesday, sudden influx of reports, sudden string of Prince songs on shuffle - it's Hump Day in so many ways right now.
Telling someone "I'll have my secretary call you" is surprisingly less exciting when you actually -have- a secretary.
He asks if we're too pathetic in love and I say, "No, no," as I kick the frame I just bought for our photobooth pics under the bed. Yikes.
The story of my yesterday begins: I got into a cab, yelled "Follow that bus!" and it ends: I walked two miles of hilly ground back to work.
I spend so much of my time and energy pining that I'm thinking of adopting an arboreal nickname. And then sighing heavily.
Christmas tweets? Already?! Come on guys, I'm not even done digesting the turkey yet
"Ever eat so much you feel sick? . . . Isn't that the -best-?"
Is there a catering service for pity parties? It would need to serve food that also has a poor self-image. Like oxidized apple slices.
Stuck in traffic looking at a Yes on 8 bumper sticker. 'Nuff said.
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