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You had me up until the words, "Sunday morning, we'll meet before noon. A half hour bus ride's worth from your home." 12:42 AM yesterday from web |
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"Could someone please get this Puritan/Jewish guilt out of my subconscious?" -synopsis of conversation with my ex last night 4:50 PM Dec 5th from web |
"I saw a guy on the bus this morning with a gorgeous face, but a cah-razee pirate moustache. I had so many questions for him." -my coworker 1:28 PM Dec 5th from web |
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Being good friends with my first serious ex makes me feel like we're 'Nam vets - we drink & laugh over the old times, cry on the inside. 11:12 AM Dec 5th from web |
Though adamant writing isn't my vocation, I will still say yes when asked "Would you write a _____ for me?" My calling must be homework. 3:02 PM Dec 4th from web |
Today is Friday! In my mind! TGIFIMM! Let's get drunk! 10:51 AM Dec 4th from web |
Really really needing to pee increases the speed of my work - I wonder if Henry Ford factored this into his vision of the assembly line. 4:30 PM Dec 3rd from web |
This fly has been bothering me all day - doesn't it realize my nectar is spoken for?! (Seriously, though, this thing is driving me insane.) 3:53 PM Dec 3rd from web |
2:00 p.m. on Wednesday, sudden influx of reports, sudden string of Prince songs on shuffle - it's Hump Day in so many ways right now. 2:10 PM Dec 3rd from web |
Telling someone "I'll have my secretary call you" is surprisingly less exciting when you actually -have- a secretary. 12:58 PM Dec 3rd from web |
He asks if we're too pathetic in love and I say, "No, no," as I kick the frame I just bought for our photobooth pics under the bed. Yikes. 12:21 PM Dec 3rd from web |
The story of my yesterday begins: I got into a cab, yelled "Follow that bus!" and it ends: I walked two miles of hilly ground back to work. 10:52 AM Dec 3rd from web |
I spend so much of my time and energy pining that I'm thinking of adopting an arboreal nickname. And then sighing heavily. 12:39 PM Dec 2nd from web |
Christmas tweets? Already?! Come on guys, I'm not even done digesting the turkey yet 11:00 AM Dec 1st from web |
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Is there a catering service for pity parties? It would need to serve food that also has a poor self-image. Like oxidized apple slices. 11:05 AM Nov 26th from web |
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