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Nice guys finish last. I just came up with that. Jealous? |
Watching Saturday Night Fever and realizing A) how much Boogie Nights owes to it and B) as a kid, the LP was much more than a joke to me. |
"Condiment delivery has made vast technological strides in just two decades." From my as yet unwritten treatise on TBD subject. |
@courtneyp, who just sent me an invite to Facebook: well-played. |
I can use the new Facebook Connect, for instance, to promote the presence of my balls across a worldwide network of social foreheads. |
An article on my mom in the local paper says I'm a dedicated environmental and community activist. Someone's gonna lose their job over this. |
My favorite part of the morning is my dog watching me get ready; he's just a dumb dog, mystified by my powers of bedmaking and pantswearing. |
The trick, in this case, is getting people at the dog park to walk away from me. |
I never know what to say to people at the dogpark. Saying nothing, smiling, and nervously scratching my dog's butt usually does the trick. |
Usage: "How long will you be in there?"
"As long as it takes. I'm undoing the damage of the past eight years."
"Matches are in the drawer." |
My new go-to catch-all euphemism: "undoing the damage of the past eight years". |
@rands Apps indistinguishable from magic, chronologically: Hypercard '89, VCR Plus+ '90, ZTerm '92, and Shazam '08. |
@AmyJane It's been harder and harder to live off the Facebook grid. But when the Judgement comes, we'll see who's real. |
Posing as my girlfriend on a MobileMe support chat. It's IM, so why am I wearing her blouse? Because it goes well with her earrings. Duh. |
There is nothing that is not awesome about disc two of the Criterion edition of 'Bottle Rocket'. Full success. Order yours today. |
RT @razorwitted "once sat in a restaurant in Boston, watching Martin Scorsese watch America's Funniest Home Videos on the bar's flat screen" |
I'm not claiming to be intelligent or cultured, but I can't be the only reasonable, bipedal person to revere America's Funniest Home Videos. |
The only thing more tragic than being hunched over a leftover pie at 5am is not being hunched over a leftover pie at 5am. #oscarwildeday |
DMCA Simpsons takedowns will abound tomorrow, incurring the wrath of Apple nerds. http://tinyurl.com/67yac3 |
Charmed nearly to death by a lady jogger passerby whose pants seat, reading 'Fuck Off', sagged to bare 3 inches of crack. Be still my heart. |
