I began drinking before I began school. Every event that occurred at home was centered around alcohol and it was common practice to allow the little ones to have sips. I can remember waiting for everyone to leave or pass out so that I could finish off the drinks.
By the time I was in Junior High I had passing out down to a fine art form. I was stealing my mom's car and driving around town drunk at the age of 12. When I was 14 years old I became pregnant. I smoked pot every day of that pregnancy and drank at every opportunity. I have no idea how my daughter was born normally.
I was unable to show up at school and perform normal functions because I was always high. My mom kicked me out of the house and I dropped out of school to party. I had two more children and was divorced by the time I was 21. I desperately wanted and needed to belong, to be apart of something, to be loved. I would do just about anything to achieve that feeling.
By the time I was 29 years old I was ready to change my life. I was living in hell already so the appeal of getting "good" was a strong drive for me. I traded my drug addiction into a religious addiction. The only time I felt ok about myself was when I was when I was practicing my chosen religion. I wasn't using anymore but life did not seem worth living.
Fortunately for me someone recognized my situation as a dry drunk. I was given the tools of recovery and was able to heal from the inside to the outside.
I have not had a drink or a drug since October 29, 1989. I have traded my religion in for true spirituality. Today I love life and receive great joy from following this road of recovery.