Caregiving

Aging Well, Living Well Home > Caregiving

Alzheimer's Disease
Caregiver Stress
Raising Children, Again
- Age Matters
- Benefits Available
More Resources

"At age 59, I became a full-time caregiver of my husband who had a debilitating stroke. At 74, I can no longer care for him. I had to give in to letting him go into a nursing home."

Caregiving can be both rewarding and burdensome. Caring for a sick husband or a displaced grandchild is an opportunity to show your love and can be a rich and rewarding experience. But for some older women, caregiving also can be a burden and very stressful.

Such burdens tend to be:

Financial
Physical
Emotional

It is estimated that 25 million Americans provide care for loved ones who are chronically ill, disabled, or cannot function independently. According to the National Family Caregivers Association, 82 percent of these caregivers are female, with an average age of 57.

Alzheimer's Disease

Many older women say the major problem they face when caring for a spouse or loved one who is disabled or suffers from an age-related condition, such as Alzheimer's disease (AD), is their need for constant medical care and supervision.

Read about caregiver stress in our frequently asked questions web site section.

Caregivers for people with AD or other kinds of dementia are particularly vulnerable to burnout. Women caregivers are prone to feeling stress and overwhelmed. They have more emotional and physical health problems, work-related problems, and financial strain than male caregivers.

Caregiver Stress

If you have any of the following symptoms, caregiving may be putting too much strain on you:

Sleeping problems — sleeping too much or too little
Change in eating habits, resulting in weight gain or loss
Feeling tired or without energy most of the time
Loss of interest in activities you used to enjoy such as going out with friends, walking, or reading
Easily irritated, angered, or saddened
Frequent headaches, stomach aches, or other physical problems

It is very important for you to take care of yourself. In the process, you'll become a better caregiver to your husband or other family member. Take the following steps to make YOUR health a priority:

Find out about community caregiving resources.
Ask for and accept help.
Stay in touch with friends and family. Social activities can help you feel connected and may reduce stress.
Find time for exercise most days of the week.
Prioritize, make lists, and establish a daily routine.
Look to faith-based groups for support and help.
Join a support group for caregivers in your situation (like caring for a person with dementia). Many support groups are listed in the phone book or on the Internet.
See your doctor for a checkup. Talk to her or him about symptoms of depression or sickness you may be having.
Try to get enough sleep and rest.
Eat a healthy diet rich in fruits, vegetables, and whole grains.
Ask your doctor about taking a multivitamin.
Take one day at a time.

Raising Children, Again

Anyone with children can tell you that raising them is a challenge. Grandparents have already met that challenge once with their own children, and many are called upon to meet it again with the next generation. But, with the second time around, parenting can be an even greater challenge due to their age and, sometimes, troubling circumstances surrounding the change in parental care. Most grandparents raising grandchildren are between 55 and 64, and almost 25 percent are over 65. Also, the growing numbers of grandparents raising grandchildren today are far more likely to be persons of color, living in poverty. The 2000 U.S. Census reported 4.5 million children living in grandparent-headed homes (a 30 percent increase from 1990).

Why are grandparents raising so many U.S. children? According to the American Association of Retired Persons (AARP):

Drugs and alcohol problems in the home
Mental illness in the home
Parent(s) in jail
Death of a parent
Poverty in the home
Divorce of parents
Child abuse and neglect in the home
Teen pregnancy
Parent(s) living with HIV/AIDS
Domestic violence in the home
Military deployment of parent(s)

Grandparents Raising Grandchildren, on USA.gov

Grandmothers responsible for caring for or raising grandchildren suffer more stress and depression than grandmothers without those duties. These are older women who may have health needs of their own. So caring for a grandchild who may have health problems, developmental challenges, or an increased need for care creates more stress for these grandmothers.

Age Matters

The age of the grandchildren can be a factor, too. Younger children are more physically demanding, but grandparents often have to expend more mental and emotional energy on older children. No matter how much you love your grandchildren and are willing or even eager to raise them, your life will change. Keep in mind these ideas:

Always put your physical and emotional health first. Getting enough exercise, relaxing, eating a healthy diet, limiting alcohol, making time for fun, and humor are all important.
Don't be embarrassed to ask for help. If you need support, find a local support group, church, or good friends who understand.
Find out what services are available for you and your grandchild in your community, including financial, legal, educational, and free or low-cost counseling.

Benefits Available

Public benefits available to grandparents and the children they raise vary from state-to-state. Benefits that may be available include:

Temporary Assistance for Needy Family (TANF)
http://www.acf.hhs.gov/programs/ofa
Supplemental Security Income
http://www.socialsecurity.gov/ssi/index.htm
Social Security
http://www.ssa.gov
Dependents' Benefits — This special supplemental food program for women, infants, and children (WIC) can help you buy food for eligible grandchildren in your care. The child must be five years old or younger. He or she must also be at risk for poor nutrition. Visit the WIC web site to find your state's toll-free number.
Medicaid
http://www.cms.hhs.gov/home/medicaid.asp
Guardianship Subsidies — Some states have programs that give financial assistance to grandparents who are the legal guardian of a child. However, not all states provide this option. This AARP state fact sheet for grandparents and other relatives raising children will provide a list of state support services and benefits available to you.
Legal Rights — Many grandparents find themselves in need of legal advice and assistance when it comes to decisions concerning their grandchildren. When hiring a lawyer is not affordable, try your local legal aid office, court clerk office, or law school clinic for help. You can also go to the American Bar Association web site for a directory of legal aid offices in your area.

Despite the problems that may come along for an older woman caregiver, for the most part, these women are willing caregivers even under extreme stress and at considerable sacrifice. Many older women say this role has had many positive effects on their lives. It makes them feel useful and capable. They are happy that they are making a difference in the life of a loved one.