[NIFL-WOMENLIT:629] Re: Men's involvement

From: Sue Taylor (m0199400@cwcom.net)
Date: Wed Mar 29 2000 - 16:11:54 EST


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From: Sue Taylor <m0199400@cwcom.net>
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Subject: [NIFL-WOMENLIT:629] Re: Men's involvement
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Andrea, some comments in reply to your notes:

1. A problem with thinking about power is that power is differently perceived.
For example, a Kurdish student recently disappeared from class.  She is 18 years
old.  Her friend, also a Kurdish refugee, told me that the student is to marry a
friend of her father in April and she is none too happy about the situation.

>From my perspective this is an abuse of parental power, but both the student
(when I phoned her) and the friend explained to me that while this situation is
not ideal it is the way that things are done in their community.  Both were
actually quite annoyed by my suggestions that the wedding need not take place
and that she might want to consider entering a local refuge for Muslim women to
escape a forced marriage.  I am now left with the feeling that I abused my power
as a teacher by trying to interfere in what is a domestic issue.  There again,
would it have been right for me as a woman not to say anything at all?

2.  Men tend to be abusers rather than women, but we must not forget that
everyone has the potential to abuse whether physically or otherwise.  Locally
there has been some talk about starting a refuge for men abused by their female
partners and students frequently speak in class about violence between siblings
or of instances of children attacking parents.

Sue

AWilder106@aol.com wrote:

> Quick note:
>
> 1)  I think we need to have some agreement among ourselves as woman about
> what we are talking about, some of the snags that come up in our daily lives
> as we live with the issue of gender and power.  These will inevitably get
> played out in the classroom, as people have noted.
>
> 2)  Men have a part to play as partners, taking responsibility and certainly
> talking up specifically about the violence aspect.   A coalition.
>
> Andrea



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