Return-Path: <nifl-womenlit@literacy.nifl.gov> Received: from literacy (localhost [127.0.0.1]) by literacy.nifl.gov (8.10.2/8.10.2) with SMTP id e8L2km914945; Wed, 20 Sep 2000 22:46:48 -0400 (EDT) Date: Wed, 20 Sep 2000 22:46:48 -0400 (EDT) Message-Id: <00fc01c02375$6434c6a0$0ee0a1d1@my-computer> Errors-To: alcrsb@langate.gsu.edu Reply-To: nifl-womenlit@literacy.nifl.gov Originator: nifl-womenlit@literacy.nifl.gov Sender: nifl-womenlit@literacy.nifl.gov Precedence: bulk From: "Jenny Horsman" <jhorsman@idirect.com> To: Multiple recipients of list <nifl-womenlit@literacy.nifl.gov> Subject: [NIFL-WOMENLIT:981] safety, guilt, cultural norms X-Listprocessor-Version: 6.0c -- ListProcessor by Anastasios Kotsikonas X-Mailer: Microsoft Outlook Express 4.72.3110.1 Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit Content-Type: text/plain; Status: O Content-Length: 3925 Lines: 64 Thanks Daphne for reminding us to think about several dimensions of safety as we discuss this difficult stuff on the listserv. I think all listserv discussion is difficult because it is hard to put our words out there to an unknown audience and then we can easily upset each other or feel criticized and silenced - yet I think it's really important not to be silent. Discussions about violence have the added dimension of treading in the area of so many silences and so much shame and touch on the experiences of so many of us that many will speak from various knowledgeable locations yet not always be comfortable with how we want to present ourselves to an unknown audience. When I led an on-line seminar on the research that led to the book, in the evaluation at the end many women talked about how hard they had found it to write - and how often when they saw their words after they had posted them they judged themselves, thinking how inadequate what they had said was. I think it's easy to underestimate how sensitive we can be, and how hard it can be to launch our thoughts and words out on any theme to an unknown group of people - when we can't see people's faces to see how they are responding - and how easily most of us can feel exposed, judged, stupid - back to that shame issue again I think. The one concern I have is that sometimes we can be trying so hard to be careful that we silence ourselves or each other and don't engaging in challenging discussion - I hope we won't do that here - but will keep exploring openly and without judging each other. Daphne made one suggestion of "rules" that might help safety - I wonder whether anyone else has any suggestions about what would make it safer to speak here - and generally what makes it safer to speak/invite others to speak about issues of violence, especially with colleagues and students? One thing I wrote about in the book was the idea that some students will want the program to be a safe place to tell their story and others will want it to be a safe place not to have to hear stories. I found it challenging, but fascinating exploring with a group of learners how we could meet conflicting needs of this sort. Have others found that tension in the classroom? If so how have you worked with it? Talk about violence I think can often lead to a slide into talk about "them" as if "they" are not also us - It's so much easier to talk about the problems "they" have rather than our own - whether the "they" is learners or another culture. I worry about how we can work with that. I've tended to think in terms of most cultures (I don't know about every one - but I wonder) accepting some aspect of violence against women and children and activists in every culture struggling to make changes. As you say Deborah, we are all shaped by the social norms of the societies we live in, but those norms do change over time - so how can literacy workers and programs support changing norms and attitudes???? Sometimes the issue of violence can unite us across other divides, I found teaching a women's group where we were focussing on how to draw your whole self into strengthening learning made a tone of "fellow traveller" possible as we all talked about the struggle to look after ourselves and learn to relax, or how to cope with blanking when we panic - whereas when we focus only on literacy I experience the divide between teacher and student as much more stark. I do think there is an important piece to "worry at" about the tensions we may feel as workers to be "together," have already "got over it" if we have experienced violence ourselves. I'm not sure that there is any such state as one of having "got over it" - so I think there is a complicated pressure for literacy workers. Oh dear I think I am too tired to think clearly, I'd better stop - I look forward to more comments on all these issues and many more.... Jenny
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