[NIFL-WOMENLIT:747] Re: New book

From: AWilder106@aol.com
Date: Tue Jun 13 2000 - 19:23:28 EDT


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Subject: [NIFL-WOMENLIT:747] Re: New book
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Judy, Marilyn, others--

I am a survivor of domestic violence--from my home when I was a baby and at 
times after that as I was growing up. I am white. I have had some of the more 
florid symptoms of PTSD, I am not on welfare, and could reliably be called 
middle class.  I don't mind at bit being in an alliance with other women who 
have had the same treatment I have had.  Yes, there are stereotypes--one of 
my friends said, "But your parents were educated!" when I told her.  It 
doesn't usually come up in middle class circumstances I think because it is 
considered "private" and can stay that way because the state doesn't come in 
via welfare or other kinds of help.  I must say I resent receiving 
stereotypes about why people might not want to mention domestic abuse.  One 
very simple reason is that it is very difficult to figure out how to manage 
other people's reactions, because there is little place for a conversation to 
go once the fact is out. And if the abuse has been sexual one can just 
picture the pictures in someone else's mind's eye. One of my friends has 
suffered from Multiple Personality Disorder, from sexual abuse, and she has 
been the subject of a dissertation.  She is black and middle class. She is a 
writer and an academic, also writes children's books, and introduces the fact 
when it fits in with the conversational topic.  So back off with the 
stereotypes.  Just ask us if you want to know.  If the figures are correct 
there are a number of us on this list serv.

I write about this stuff in the literacy field to let other people know what 
is going on, and I really don't know how women in literacy classes stand the 
discussion, frankly.

 I also changed my last name, just as Judith Herman reports some women do, 
fishing a new one out of my New England family past.  

Regards to all who are in this particular boat.

Andrea



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