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Life Planning
Facing Fertility Issues
Handling Money Worries
Handling Work Issues
It's common to feel sad, angry, or worried that your lifestyle may change because of your loved
one's cancer. You may have to make major decisions that will affect your job or your finances.
Finding ways to cope with these issues can bring some peace of mind.
Some people are concerned about the effects of cancer treatment on their ability to have children.
If this is true for you and your loved one, talk to the doctor before starting treatment. You may want
to ask about options for protecting your fertility. Or the doctor can recommend a counselor or
fertility specialist. This person can discuss available options and help you and your loved one
make informed choices. (For more information, call Fertile Hope at 1-888-994-HOPE, or go to
www.fertilehope.org.)
"I'm not working for
the money. I'm working
for the benefits. If we
don't have benefits, we
could lose everything."
- Debbie
The financial challenges that people with cancer and their
families face are very real. During an illness, you may find it
hard to find the time or energy to review your options. Yet
it's important to keep your family financially healthy.
For hospital bills, you or your loved one may want to talk
with a hospital financial counselor. You may be able to work
out a monthly payment plan or even get a reduced rate. You
may also want to stay in touch with the insurance company
to make sure certain treatment costs are covered.
For information about resources that are available, see the
Resources section. You
can also get the NCI fact sheet, "
Financial Assistance for Cancer Care," at
www.cancer.gov, by
searching for the terms "financial assistance." Or call toll-free 1-800-4-CANCER (1-800-422-6237)
to ask for a free copy.
"A lot of times I come home
from a week at the hospital
with no sleep and have to
go to work the next day."
- Laurel
One of the greatest sources of strain for some
caregivers is trying to balance work demands with
providing care and support to a loved one. Caregiving
can affect your work life in many ways, such as these:
- Having mood swings that leave coworkers
confused or reluctant to work with you
- Being distracted or less productive
- Being late, or calling in sick because of the stress
- Feeling pressure from being the sole provider for your family if your spouse or partner is
not able to work
- Feeling pressure to keep working, even though retirement may have been approaching
It's a good idea to learn more about your company's rules and policies related to a family
member's illness. See if there are any support programs for employees. Many companies have
employee assistance programs with work-life counselors for you to talk to. Some companies have
eldercare policies or other employee benefit programs that can help support you. Your employer
may let you use your paid sick leave to take care of your loved one. Or they may let you take leave
without pay.
If your employer doesn't have any policies in place, you could try to arrange something informally.
Examples include flex-time, shift-exchanging, adjusting your schedule, or telecommuting as needed.
The Family and Medical Leave Act may apply to your situation. Covered employers must give eligible
employees up to 12 work weeks of unpaid leave during a 12-month period to care for an immediate
family member with a serious health condition. Visit
http://www.dol.gov/esa/whd/fmla/ for more
information. For sources of support, see the Resources section.
Sometimes treatment raises questions about living arrangements. When making these decisions,
you should ask:
- What kind of help does your loved one need and for how long?
- Could you remodel the house or move to a smaller or different one?
- Is it risky for your loved one to be home alone?
You'll also need to consider how your loved one
feels. She may fear:
- Losing her independence
- Being seen as weak or a burden to you
and others
- Moving to a health care or other type of
assisted living facility
These are tough issues. Sometimes it's easier to
consider a change in living arrangements when
the advice comes from a health care professional.
Social workers, doctors, nurses, home care
providers, and agencies that work with older
adults may be able to help.
"My husband and I sat
down together as he filled
out his living will. We made
sure we were in agreement
with one another. It relieves
me of a lot of guilt I could
have had."
- Alma
Some people prefer to let their health care team
make all their cancer treatment decisions. Others
want to have more input. If your loved one wants to
take a more active role, urge him to complete an
advance directive. Advance directives are legal
papers that let your loved one decide important
issues. These can include how much treatment to
get and who should make decisions if he or she
can't. Having an advance directive helps ensure
that patients get the treatment that they want. It
will also make it a lot easier for caregivers to make
treatment decisions if they understand their loved
one's wishes.
| Legal Papers At-A-Glance
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Advance directives
- A living will lets people know
what kind of medical care patients
want if they are unable to speak
for themselves.
- A durable power of attorney for
health care names a person to
make medical decisions for a
patient if he or she can't make them.
This person, chosen by the patient,
is called a health care proxy.
Other legal papers that are not part of
the advance directives
- A will tells how a person wants to
divide money and property among
his or her heirs. (Heirs are usually
the surviving family members.
Other people may also be named
as heirs in a will.)
- A trust appoints the person a
patient chooses to manage his or
her money for them.
- Power of attorney appoints a
person to make financial decisions
for the patient when he or she
can't make them.
Note: A lawyer does not always need to
be present when you fill out these
papers. However, a notary public may
be needed. Each state has its own laws
about advance directives. Check with a
lawyer or social worker about the laws
in your state. (For more, see the
Resources section.)
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