[NIFL-WOMENLIT:2575] Re: outcome of conversation with husband

From: Mary Lou Sewell (mlsewl@yahoo.com)
Date: Mon May 12 2003 - 10:50:00 EDT


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From: Mary Lou Sewell <mlsewl@yahoo.com>
To: Multiple recipients of list <nifl-womenlit@literacy.nifl.gov>
Subject: [NIFL-WOMENLIT:2575] Re: outcome of conversation with husband
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That was a tough situation.  Thank goodness you
handled it the way you did and that it worked out
well.
Congratulations on a good job.
Mary Lou
--- Daphne Greenberg <alcdgg@langate.gsu.edu> wrote:
> Thanks for all the responses regarding the husband
> who called regarding his wife's participation in the
> reading research project. I found all of your
> listserv responses and your private responses to me
> very interesting, and descriptive of the
> complexities of such an event.
> As promised, here were my thoughts/concerns and what
> I ended up doing:
> My immediate gut reaction was I am not going to call
> him back and that I would ask her about it the next
> time I saw her. Then I started to wonder whether she
> is involved in a violent relationship and wondered
> if that were the case-would it be better for her if
> I called. I worried that by not calling him back, I
> might make him angry at her. But I still worried
> about calling him, because he may not know that she
> has literacy problems-what if she is secretly going
> to the literacy program? How do I know how much to
> tell him about the research project? So I waited.
> The first day that she did not return to her
> literacy program, I figured-okay coincidence. The
> second day, I figured, she could be sick. By the
> third day I got nervous. Especially because he left
> a few messages on my voice mail. So, eventhough I
> didn't want to call him-I did. He answered and I
> told him who I was and that I was returning his
> call. He wanted information about the reading
> project so that he could decide w!
> hether it made sense for his wife to do it. I felt
> like asking him why I needed to talk to him about
> that, but didn't. Instead I asked him what specific
> questions he had. He wanted to know the exact times,
> days, and locations of the class. Once I told him,
> he thanked me. I then asked him if he thought she
> would be attending. I asked him this because it
> seemed clear to me that he would be deciding this.
> He told me that he thought that she would be too
> busy to attend 4 days a week 2 hours a day. I asked
> him if he had any other questions and he said no and
> we said good bye.
> She came back to the literacy program the next day.
> I asked her if she wanted to join our literacy
> research project and she declined, saying that she
> didn't have the time. I told her that I understood
> and asked her if she would be able to continue her
> regular literacy program which met 2 days a week for
> 2 hours. She said yes. I am glad to report that I
> have noticed that she has been able to attend her
> regular program
> Daphne
> 
> Daphne Greenberg
> Associate Director
> Center for the Study of Adult Literacy
> MSC 6A0360
> Georgia State University
> 33 Gilmer Street SE Unit 6
> Atlanta, GA 30303-3086
> phone: 404-651-0127
> fax:404-651-4901
> dgreenberg@gsu.edu


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