Adolescence: Learn Some Positive Parenting Tips
Discover (or rediscover) positive ways that you can help your child learn and develop.This is the fourth in a series of articles about positive parenting tips.
Your child is heading back to school. As he grows, his needs may change. Discover positive ways to help the development of your 12- to 14-year old or 15- to 17-year old.
Early Adolescence (12–14 years old)
Early adolescence is a time of many physical, mental, emotional, and social changes. Hormones change as puberty begins. Boys grow facial and pubic hair and their voices deepen. Girls grow pubic hair and breasts, and start menstruating. They might be worried about these changes and how they are looked at by others. This will also be a time when your teenager might face peer pressure to use alcohol, tobacco products, and drugs, and to have sex. Other challenges can be eating disorders, depression, and family problems. At this age, teens make more of their own choices about friends, sports, studying, and school. They become more independent, with their own personality and interests.
Positive Parenting Tips
Trust is important for teenagers. Even as she develops independence, she will need to know she has your support. At the same time, she will need you to respect her need for privacy.
- Be honest and direct with your teenager when talking about sensitive subjects such as drugs, drinking, smoking, and sex.
- Encourage your teenager to get exercise. He or she might join a team or take up an individual sport. Helping with household tasks such as mowing the lawn, walking the dog, or washing the car also keeps your teen active.
- Meal time is very important for families. Eating together helps teenagers make better choices about the foods they eat, promotes healthy weight, and gives your family time to talk to each other.
- Meet and get to know your teenager's friends.
- Show an interest in your teenager's school life.
- Help your teenager make healthy choices while encouraging him to make his own decisions.
- Respect your teenager's opinions and take into account her thoughts and feelings. It is important that she knows you are listening to her.
More information is available in English and Spanish.
Middle Adolescence (15–17 years old)
Your child's growing independence from the family and interest in friends might be obvious by now.
Middle adolescence is a time of physical, mental, cognitive, and sexual changes for your teenager. Most girls will be physically mature by now, and most will have completed puberty. Boys might still be maturing physically during this time. Your teenager might have concerns about her body size, shape, or weight. Eating disorders can also be common, especially among females. During this phase of development, your teenager is developing his unique personality and opinions. Peer relationships are still important, yet your teenager will have other interests as he develops a more clear sense of identity. Middle adolescence is also an important time to prepare for more independence and responsibility; many teenagers start working, and many will be leaving home soon after high school.
Positive Parenting Tips
- Talk to your teenager about her concerns and pay attention to any changes in her behavior. Ask her if she has had suicidal thoughts, particularly if she seems sad or depressed. Asking about suicidal thoughts will not cause her to have these thoughts, but it will let her know that you care about how she feels. Seek professional help if necessary.
- Show interest in your teenager's school and extracurricular interests and activities and encourage him to become involved in activities such as sports, music, theater, and art.
- Compliment your teenager and celebrate her efforts and accomplishments.
- Show affection for your teenager. Spend time together doing things you enjoy.
- Respect your teenager's opinion. Listen to him without playing down his concerns.
- Encourage your teenager to volunteer and become involved in civic activities in her community.
- Encourage your teenager to develop solutions to problems or conflicts. Help your teenager learn to make good decisions. Create opportunities for him to use his own judgment, and be available for advice and support.
- If your teenager engages in interactive Internet media such as games, chat rooms, and instant messaging, encourage him to be disciplined and respectful about the amount of time she is involved with it.
- If your teenager works, use the opportunity to talk about expectations, responsibility, and other aspects of behaving respectfully in a public setting.
- Talk with your teenager and help him plan ahead for difficult or uncomfortable situations. Discuss what he can do if he is in a group and someone is using drugs, under pressure to have sex, or offered a ride from someone who has been drinking.
- Respect your teenager's need for privacy.
- Encourage your teenager to get enough sleep and exercise, and to eat healthy, balanced meals.
- Encourage your teenager to have meals with the family. Eating together will help your teenager make better choices about the foods she eats, promote healthy weight, and give family members time to talk with each other. In addition, a teenager who eats meals with the family is more likely to have better grades and less likely to smoke, drink, or use drugs. She is also less likely to get into fights, think about suicide, or engage in sexual activity.
More information is available in English and Spanish.
More Information
- Learn more about child development.
- Check out CDC's information on Safe and Healthy Kids and Teens.
- Listen to a podcast, Positive Parenting Tips: Early and Middle Adolescence (
5:56 minutes) - Explore additional CDC features on positive parenting tips: Infants & Toddlers, Preschoolers, and Middle Childhood.
