My focus is on the moral/respectable behaviour of an African immigrant teenager and I am arguing as a mother of 2 boys a teenager 13yrs old and a young adult 21yrs old. I agree that we are selling the teens short by thinking that the ones who have already had sex... abstinence is not relevant to them and the ones who are not having sex know about HIV and STIs and we are encouraging them to have sex. I would want my child to know what are the consequences of having sex first. Then I will want them to know that if ever they are in a situation in which they find they are going to have sex always to use condoms and only to trust themselves only (they know what they have done or not done, where they have been or not been). For the ones who have already had sex or in some situations like where they already have a baby or have made someone pregnant they need the information on how to protect themselves and on the other hand they need the abstinence inforamtion as well. Human beings make choices based on what information they have. I will not entertain condom discussion with my 13yr old, if he is not showing,talking or being interested in girls or relationships...I will talk condom use with my 21yr old and the dangers of STIs.The word needs to be with the youth loud and clear out there: abstain, if not use condoms consistently. Our children are living in a different world with so many complex diseases than the world we grew up in. The African mother in me is so much about self respect, ethical and moral behaviour in teenagers, it makes them responsible adults later in life.

I have always advocated for an all inclusive approach to HIV/AIDS / Reproductive Health Education for the YOUTHS. Talking or Not Talking to the youth about SEX is a question that has been hanging in the air for the longest time. In the present world of "dot.com" that we live in, PLEASE TALK TO THE YOUTHS ABOUT SEX WITH OPTIONS....ABSTINENCE and CONDOM use should be emphasised for all the Youth gropus. A sexually active youth might decide to become abstinent or a sexually inactive youth might decide to have sex....hopefully both groups will be capable of engaging in healthy choices. With all due respect to the earlier blogger, I think you should talk more to the 13 yr old than the 21 yr old. In this age of internet and text messages, some of these teens sometimes look for clarity from family members on issues about sex. Please lets not assume they don't have questions around sex. "Let them know the correct information early, than them learning the hard way". This is my two cents.

I believe this determination would be made on a case by case basis...however when ever that appropriate age is...it is best in my opinion for the child to hear about all alternatives with same the degree of importance. I like what Mr. Baite asked at Worcester NAHI summit, to the effect..., tell me what community/society in world that would like to have their kids have sex at a very young age. We need to be asking these question.