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So Far Away:
Twenty Questions for Long-Distance Caregivers
Introduction
1. What is long-distance caregiving?
2. How will I know if help is needed?
3. What can I really do from far away?
4. How can my family decide who does what?
5. Are there things I can do that will help me feel less frustrated?
» 6. What is a geriatric care manager and how can I find one?
7. How can I keep up with my mom’s medical and health care?
8. How can I make the most of a visit with my parent's doctor?
9. How on earth can my parents afford everything they need?
10. What kinds of documents do we need?
11. Should I encourage my parents to get more help?
12. How can we make the house safer for my mother who has Alzheimer's disease?
13. How can I lighten the load for my mother?
14. How can I help my folks decide if it's time for them to move?
15. What happens if my mother gets too sick to stay at home?
16. How is it that long-distance caregiving makes me feel so guilty all the time?
17. How can I be sure my father's caregiver isn't mistreating him?
18. How can I help my parents think about their future health care preferences?
19. What is the difference between an advance directive and a living will?
20. What if I'm told my mom only has a few months to live?
Resources: Where to Turn for Help
 
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6. What is a geriatric care manager and how can I find one? A friend of mine thought that having a professional “on the scene” to help my dad would take some of the pressure off me.

Gina lived in Phoenix, and her father, Bill, lived alone in an LA apartment. She visited him several times each year. When she began to notice that Bill was starting to have problems managing some things on his own, Gina called the Area Agency on Aging. The Agency staff helped her to set up daily meal delivery and a home health aide for Bill. A few months later, Bill fainted in church and was taken to a local hospital. He was there for a day before someone was able to track Gina down. The hospital discharge planner wanted Gina to come in person to discuss what her father needed—but Gina couldn’t get away immediately. Her husband suggested hiring a geriatric care manager, someone based in LA who could keep tabs on Bill more efficiently than Gina. Now a care manager visits Bill once a month and calls Gina with updates and recommendations.

Professional care managers are usually licensed nursing or social work professionals who specialize in geriatrics. Some families hire a geriatric care manager to evaluate and assess a parent’s needs and to coordinate care through community resources. The cost of an initial evaluation varies and may be expensive, but geriatric care managers can offer a useful service. They are a sort of “professional relative” to help you and your family to identify needs and how to meet them. These professionals can also be helpful in leading family discussions about sensitive subjects.

When interviewing a geriatric care manager, you might want to ask:

  • Are you a licensed geriatric care manager?
  • Are you a member of the National Association of Professional Geriatric Care Managers?
  • How long have you been providing care management services?
  • Are you available for emergencies?
  • Does your company also provide home care services?
  • How will you communicate information to me?
  • What are your fees? Will you provide them in writing prior to starting services?
  • Can you provide references?

The National Association of Professional Geriatric Care Managers can help you find a care manager near your family member’s community. You can also call or write the Eldercare Locator for recommendations. In some cases, local chapters of the Alzheimer’s Association may be able to recommend geriatric care managers who have assisted other families. The Resources section of this booklet has information on how to contact these organizations.

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Page last updated Jan 31, 2008