Coping with traumatic events

All of us experience fear and anxiety for reasons that range from watching upsetting images on TV, to direct involvement in traumatic events from natural disaster, to the recent terrorist attacks.

Our own past histories and experience dealing with trauma and uncertainty affects our response to traumatic events. Usually children directly exposed to frightening experiences are likely to suffer greater anxiety and fear, than children whose experience is limited to TV viewing. The following general suggestions address ways to support children who have been exposed to trauma in varying degrees. It is important to note that children who evidence dramatic changes in behavior including non-stop worrying, excessive clinging to parent or teacher, loss of appetite and moodiness might require professional intervention.

1.	Children turn to adults whom they trust when scary things happen. Adults need to role model good coping skills in spite of upsetting events. Be sure to attend to your own feelings so that you can talk with children in a calm and responsive manner. When talking with children help them get a realistic age appropriate picture of what occurred.
2.	Children need information that lets them know that adults are thinking about ways to insure their safety. They may need to be reassured many times throughout their day especially if something happens to remind them of the event (police sirens, loud noises). Patience is important and calming activities can help children feel less anxious and upset.
3.	Children benefit from reassurance about community helpers who help to keep children out of harms way. You can talk with children about the work of the President, firefighters etc. to insure our safety.
4.	Children need to participate, even in small ways, in community efforts for safety and support. For example, children can make cards for those affected by the trauma. Even if the cards are never mailed, the children have made a positive effort on behalf of healing trauma.
5.	Planning for emergencies can include input from children. Even young children can help assemble emergency kits or label emergency supplies.
6.	Routine emergency drills may cause added anxiety in some children. Reassure children that there is nothing frightening happening, but practice is important to help with everyone's safety.
7.	Avoid re-exposing children to visual images or information about the event. Children need time to work out their feelings, thoughts and fears. Repetition of the event delays their ability to recover from the trauma.
8.	Maintain family or school routines as much as possible. Adequate rest and a good diet allow us all to cope better with stress.
9.	Children may express strong feelings of anger as they try to understand the "cause" of the trauma. In the event of a natural disaster, children may direct anger at "God" or even worry that they did something wrong to bring about the event. If the event is "man-made," anger may generalize to an entire group of people. For example, following the Sept. 11 attack it was important to understand that all Arab people were not responsible and that generalizations about groups of people are hurtful. After acknowledging children's strong feelings, it is important to help them sort out these issues. Understanding natural or man-made disasters by getting factual information is important. Help children separate thoughts from feelings, facts from fears.
10.	Find ways to let children know you care about their well being. Grant yourself and children patience and spend time together doing pleasurable activities.