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David Wambaugh's Story
My name is David Wambaugh, and I am an alcoholic. I began drinking when I was 5 years old. I am now 44 years of age, and this is the first time that I have had over 1 year of continuous sobriety. I have been to over 40 treatment facilities, including some of the most well known rehabs known to the treatment community. I have also been incarcerated several times for alcohol and drug related crimes, such as 7 DUI's, possession charge, terrorist threat, etc.. Ultimately, I wound up in Prison as a result of my last probation violation.
When I was arrested last time, I wasn't so much concerned with how I was going to manipulate my way out of this jam, but how I must have destroyed my families hearts, time and time again. The pain that I have incurred toward my loved one's is immeasurable. At that point, I believe that I experienced a personality change sufficient to bring about recovery. I had a profound shift in my thinking, and realized that my whole life had been made up of self-centered decisions, which inevitably led me to state prison.
I wasn't your average convict. My father is a world famous author and movie maker, who happens to be an ex-cop. I had never taken into consideraton the shame and humiliation that he must have felt, every time I got arrested for my latest high speed chase, or other wreckless behavior I exhibited. Always in the news. Author Joseph Wambaugh's son arrested again for bla bla bla..... What a dirtbag I had become. I was so consumed with getting my next drink, staying ahead of the law, and worrying about me, I never took the time to consider the people whom I love, or I was supposed to love. Selfishness and self-centeredness were the core of my being. In prison, I found reason, beyond a shadow of a doubt, to do whatever it takes to never ingest any mood altering substances again. One day at a time. I would never wish prison on anyone, becaause it is a very dangerous place, with no guarantees of survival. In fact, the chances for a guy like me to survive are far less than average. I now live for different reasons. Reasons that are foreign to me. I live sober for my son Jake, my parents, and myself. In that order. Many psychiatrists have told me in the past that I must love myself before I would be able to effectively love someone else, and I must stay sober for myself first, etc.... The reality is, that the only way I will stay sober forever is with the complete knowledge of the pain I will inflict on the one's I love if I chose to take a drink. Which really means that I don't love them at all. To pick up a drink is a conscious decision to make yourself a complete and total liar. I've made my choice. My name is Dave, and I am an alcoholic.
Oceanside, California
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