Why You Need to Talk

How do you feel about talking with your son or daughter about sex? Are you uncomfortable? If you are, you are not alone. When we talked to parents across the country, we heard that parents think this is a very tough topic to talk about.

Many parents think:

they don’t know enough about the topic;
their son or daughter won’t listen;
their pre-teen or teen is not ready;
they think they know what their son or daughter is doing “all the time”; and
that if they tell their pre-teen or teen NOT to have sex, that their son or daughter WILL have sex.

Some parents think, “Well, nobody talked to me!”

This Web site seeks to help parents obtain the tools and facts to have these difficult discussions with their children. Your son or daughter needs to hear what you think and why. They need to know your expectation when it comes to sex, that you want them to wait until marriage.

Did you know that about one out of every three 9th graders has had sexual intercourse at least once?⁴ There’s another thing we know. Even the best parents cannot know what their son or daughter is doing all of the time. So start talking with your child, pre-teen, or teen. And make sure he or she knows they can always come and talk to you.

You don’t really want friends or television or music videos or the Internet teaching your son or daughter about sex, do you? Of course not – only you can tell your son or daughter how you think he or she should behave. Only you can tell your son or daughter that YOU want him or her to wait.

Your child really does want to hear what YOU think about sex. Really!

9 out of 10 teens (94%) think that adults should let teens know they should wait to have sex at least until they get out of high school.⁵
Nearly 9 out of 10 (88%) teens say it would be easier to avoid early sexual activity and teen pregnancy if they were able to have more open, honest conversations about these topics with their parents.⁶
6 out of 10 (59%) teens say their parents are their role models of healthy, responsible relationships.⁷

You can talk to your pre-teen or teen about sex. You can tell them about good relationships and making good choices. You can tell them your values.

Your son or daughter might look like he or she is not listening. Your child might act bored. But your child IS hearing you. Talk to your pre-teen or teen about sex. Talk early and often. For some tips on how to do it, please visit Talking Tips.

Last revised: May 28, 2008