What Black Friday is like for people who hate Black Friday

The New York Times asks a pertinent question: “Who really wants to wait in line overnight, or even multiple days and nights, to get first crack at the deepest discounts?”

If you’re all like

I’m not going to

Just to rummage through

But, just,

OK, you’re hyperventilating. THE CROWDS. THE SHOVING. THE SWEATING.

This is not your kind of thing.

You’ve got permission to go eat a turkey sandwich with your Thanksgiving Day leftovers and go back to bed. Forget about those people waiting outside shopping malls in suburbia. Relish in this: There’s one really big, great place to get deals, too: