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11.13.14, 08:05 PM
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Is this your first (and or only) child? Many of us with 2+ who also work FT etc have lost bandwidth for this stuff. Honest reply.
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11.13.14, 08:05 PM
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I think you are worrying too much about it. DS is making friends and fitting in. That's great! It doesn't really matter who the other dcs are having playdates with.
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11.13.14, 08:08 PM
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11.13.14, 08:01 PM
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If you are careful and have restraint you will be fine.
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11.13.14, 08:03 PM
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OP: It's a bit late to make any changes now. I have tried and am generally very healthy, but still feel like I've gained a lot. I just wonder if others have had similar experiences and lost the weight. I also wonder what typical is.
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11.13.14, 08:03 PM
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How much have you gained?
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11.13.14, 08:06 PM
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OP: I'm 36 weeks and have gained almost 40 pounds. Was about 120 before pregnancy. Have been eating healthily but the pounds continue to pile on.
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11.13.14, 08:05 PM
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Was 185 just before delivery, now 122. Gained 65 pounds during second pregnancy. No real exercise other than walking, occasional bike ride and breastfeeding forever.
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11.13.14, 08:02 PM
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Everyone I know who kept their looks a priority, kept their shape. I watched what I ate, moved around, breastfed, and lost all my pregnancy weight by a few months after weaning, but gained much of it back over the next 5 years of stress eating. No baby this time, just weight. Let this be a cautionary tale!
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11.13.14, 08:05 PM
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Started out 130. Gained 30. Lost it all with no real effort.
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11.13.14, 08:05 PM
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Gained 35. Lost it all in about 3 months. Only workout walking and carrying DB.
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11.13.14, 08:07 PM
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Gained 35. Lost it all in about 3 months. Only workout walking and carrying DB.
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11.13.14, 08:07 PM
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150 before pregnancy 192 day of delivery. 149 ,1 week postpartum. I threw up the whole pregnancy and had extreme edema. Pretty much all the weight I gained besides dd was retained water.
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11.13.14, 08:05 PM
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I went from 140 to 240 by delivery. Lost it all the first time, then went back to 242, 243, and 242. I lost less each time afterwards and eventually settled at 220-240 where I have been for 13 years.
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11.13.14, 08:07 PM
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Gained 15 pounds the first time, and 10 pounds the second. Back below pp weight within a couple of weeks.
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11.13.14, 08:07 PM
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You must have been huge before hand?
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11.13.14, 08:09 PM
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I gained 22 pounds with my first, lost it all within 1 year, and then 25 pounds with my second. I still have an extra 5 pounds after the second one from my pre-first-pregnancy weight. Started at 128, two kids later, 133.
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11.13.14, 08:10 PM
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pp-116 lbs; gained 22 lbs. Now: 113 lbs.
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11.13.14, 08:08 PM
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11.13.14, 08:00 PM
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We keep nothing in 4, 5, & 7yo DCs' bedroom except their beds, a night table with a lamp, and their clothes & extra sheets in their dresser & closet. When they misbehave, they are sent to their room for an appropriate amount of time, and there is *nothing* to do in there, so even 15 minutes feels like an eternity to them. They calm down & apologize every time.
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11.13.14, 08:02 PM
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11.13.14, 07:54 PM
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Depends how often you are home during the day. Construction jobs are usually union so their hours are regular. It's only ConEd, etc., who like to jack hammer in the middle of the night.
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11.13.14, 08:03 PM
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No way. Watching construction is good fun, and DCs love watching the machines & trucks. Watching a whole high rise go up would be a blast.
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11.13.14, 08:08 PM
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11.13.14, 07:47 PM
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What happens when you ask an overtired child to stop watching a TV show before it's finished?
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11.13.14, 07:47 PM
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Shouldn't have been watching in the first place. Wouldn't be an issue.
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11.13.14, 07:50 PM
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But he was. You want your kid to have a temper tantrum and not nap so that the absentee parents can PROVE THEY ARE IN CHARGE?
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11.13.14, 07:51 PM
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What happens when you talk back to a man who just took a red eye flight?
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11.13.14, 07:50 PM
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He's clearly the one who needed the nap. Stop micromanaging the nanny.
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11.13.14, 07:51 PM
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micromanaging? so we can't have any rules or any input? this is beyond crazy
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11.13.14, 08:10 PM
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if you like everything else about her, give it another shot. talk to her about what happened. we all make mistakes. also, from now on - nannycam
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11.13.14, 07:52 PM
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Have some respect for the people that you hire to watch your children. If you don't trust them, don't keep them! No need to creepily spy on their every move.
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11.13.14, 08:06 PM
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I am with him. That's 2 strikes. She's lazy and rude
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11.13.14, 07:47 PM
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He told me to place an ad right away and find a replacement over weekend. I don't know if he is this annoyed because he got no sleep or this is really something to fire over.
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11.13.14, 07:51 PM
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If he wants to fire her, he can place the ad and interview the candidates. Why should you have to up-end your life because he was cranky?
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11.13.14, 07:53 PM
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Do you like her?
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11.13.14, 07:50 PM
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yes but she does do whatever she wants.
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11.13.14, 07:52 PM
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np - well, that would really annoy me.
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11.13.14, 07:53 PM
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it is annoying but she is totally amazing at some things. preschool dismissal was at 11:30 and dc's nap time is 12:30 so I can't even understand what would posses her to start cartoons vs just eat and bed time. She started her workday at pickup so its not like she was tired from a long day or anything.
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11.13.14, 07:54 PM
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Wild guess but maybe - DS is too wound up from school to go down from a nap an hour later?
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11.13.14, 07:54 PM
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I am as sure as a mother can be that this was not an issue and it was nanny being lazy to take care of dc.
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11.13.14, 08:02 PM
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That's a bad sign. If she can't even deal with an hour in between, she probably has been leaving your DC in front of TV constantly.
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11.13.14, 07:57 PM
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Your husband is a nutjob for 1) not letting your child watch cartoons and 2) being so rigid-to-the-minute about naptimes. Let the nanny do her job.
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11.13.14, 07:51 PM
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1) we both don't want dc to watch cartoons while with nanny 2) dc #2 needs to be picked up at 3pm so missed nap time does create issues.
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11.13.14, 07:56 PM
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1) you're both nuts 2) five minutes? really? I hope you do fire your nanny; she deserves better employers.
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11.13.14, 07:55 PM
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ok. i guess we should release her then
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11.13.14, 07:59 PM
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I'm not OP, but I also don't allow TV time, esp right before bedtime. That actually fire the kids up a lot.
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11.13.14, 07:58 PM
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I guarantee you let him watch cartoons, I've seen this hundreds of times and it's so annoying.
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11.13.14, 07:57 PM
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Right. "We both don't want DC to watch cartoons WHILE WITH NANNY..."
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11.13.14, 07:59 PM
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x1000
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11.13.14, 08:02 PM
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But so what? OP is the one paying the nanny. I wouldn't want my employee watching TV at work either.
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11.13.14, 08:04 PM
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The kid is watching TV, not the nanny
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11.13.14, 08:07 PM
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what is the nanny doing?
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11.13.14, 08:09 PM
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op: we believe in moderation. we do have movie night once in a while. we aren't tv nazzis but yes we don't want it to be a regular pass time.
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11.13.14, 08:08 PM
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i would fire a nanny for that simply because I had strict no tv rule except on weekend nights. lots of people don't care about tv watching, but for those of us who do, it's a big deal to flagrantly disregard.
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11.13.14, 08:04 PM
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The OP doesn't have a strict no TV rule. She has a strict "no TV with the nanny" rule.
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11.13.14, 08:08 PM
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tell dh to chill - your child probably was wound up/over tired, a cartoon or two wont kill him and he'll be relaxed enough to maybe take a nap
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11.13.14, 07:53 PM
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Why are you making up reasons for why cartoons where needed?
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11.13.14, 07:58 PM
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because I am trying to show OP that there could be a reason for it - to maybe ask her nanny what was goign on before going right to firing
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11.13.14, 08:01 PM
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op: what if I tell you that I am willing to bet $1000 that dc was not overtired. He isn't the type to be hyper and doesn't get overtired unless he misses nap. Also, when he is overtired, he reacts best to being read to in bed.
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11.13.14, 08:03 PM
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Your DH comes back from a business trip and instead of being happy to see his kid, he wants the nanny to pack him off to bed immediately?
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11.13.14, 07:52 PM
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I would not keep a nanny who ignored my instructions adn preferences. She thinks she knows better than you and your husband. if you agree that overall, she knows better, than fine. Otherwise, i would tell her, I know you disagree with me on a, b and c. but I'm the mom. So if you dont' feel like you can follow my policies because you think I am wrong, then this won't work. I think you're great and i dont' want to lose you. So it's really up to you whether you feel comfortable followin gmy poliices re cartoons or whatever,or if you dont. if she says she won't do as you say, then I would start looking for someone knew. and she will start looking too.
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11.13.14, 07:57 PM
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I would not keep a nanny who ignored my instructions adn preferences. She thinks she knows better than you and your husband. if you agree that overall, she knows better, than fine. Otherwise, i would tell her, I know you disagree with me on a, b and c. but I'm the mom. So if you dont' feel like you can follow my policies because you think I am wrong, then this won't work. I think you're great and i dont' want to lose you. So it's really up to you whether you feel comfortable followin gmy poliices re cartoons or whatever,or if you dont. if she says she won't do as you say, then I would start looking for someone knew. and she will start looking too.
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11.13.14, 07:57 PM
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I would not keep a nanny who ignored my instructions adn preferences. She thinks she knows better than you and your husband. if you agree that overall, she knows better, than fine. Otherwise, i would tell her, I know you disagree with me on a, b and c. but I'm the mom. So if you dont' feel like you can follow my policies because you think I am wrong, then this won't work. I think you're great and i dont' want to lose you. So it's really up to you whether you feel comfortable followin gmy poliices re cartoons or whatever,or if you dont. if she says she won't do as you say, then I would start looking for someone knew. and she will start looking too.
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11.13.14, 07:57 PM
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I wouldn't hire a nanny I didn't trust to think for herself
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11.13.14, 07:58 PM
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He took a red eye flight. He hasn't slept at all.
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11.13.14, 08:01 PM
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And?
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11.13.14, 08:01 PM
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And he was taking a nap. What is wrong with you. He is both jet-legged and hasn't slept at all for 2 days. We have a nanny and its her job to take care of dc. My dh did see dc this morning and took him to school. DH was napping after that.
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11.13.14, 08:06 PM
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Get over yourselves, unclench please
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11.13.14, 07:55 PM
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Nanny shouldn't let DC watch TV if that's your rule. Set a password on the TV next time. If first offense, let it go. If she repeatedly dismiss your rules, then fire.
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11.13.14, 07:56 PM
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She brings her tablet for this.
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11.13.14, 08:04 PM
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I'm with your DH - that kind of attitude is a red flag. I don't agree with him about the timeline, but I think firing her now will save you heartache later.
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11.13.14, 07:57 PM
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She just wanted the kid to finish the show so he wouldn't freak out (which would have just made the father angrier).
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11.13.14, 08:00 PM
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OR: My mistake, missed the part in the OP where the nanny explains it calmly
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11.13.14, 08:06 PM
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OP: she didn't explain anything. she just told my dh to f off (in a nutshell) This is what made my dh upset more so than the cartoon.
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11.13.14, 08:08 PM
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She brought a tablet to show cartoons while instructed to not show cartoons.
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11.13.14, 08:07 PM
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As a nanny who deals with passive aggressive dh's all the time, I feel her pain. He was probably interfering and pestering. I'd tell your husband that she is your employee and to leave this alone.
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11.13.14, 08:07 PM
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dh is never home. she almost never sees him. you are projecting.
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11.13.14, 08:10 PM
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11.13.14, 07:46 PM
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May I ask how old your dc is and how you know he is highly gifted in math? What is he doing in math to qualify for the highly gifted status?
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11.13.14, 07:49 PM
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11, he's always been in the advanced group or math class at his school but there are lots of kids in that category so that would not make him unusual. I think it was a combo of standardized test scores and some in-house challenge assessments and the fact that the math has finally gotten advanced enough that it's easier to see how quickly he gets new material, especially things like geometry and complex word problems.
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11.13.14, 07:54 PM
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NP: you just know. Pretty easy with math
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11.13.14, 07:55 PM
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Part snot.
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11.13.14, 07:51 PM
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lol
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11.13.14, 07:53 PM
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Ha! I love when they pompously inform you of blindingly obvious things about your own kid.
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11.13.14, 08:01 PM
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11.13.14, 07:43 PM
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NYC
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11.13.14, 07:43 PM
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For me, it would be easier in NYC because I don't like to drive.
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11.13.14, 07:46 PM
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I would have agreed with you, but when I moved to burbs I realized, yes, you drive more in burbs, but the driving (or actually the parking) is so much easier. You don't worry about finding a spot.
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11.13.14, 07:52 PM
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NP: I hate the driving, not the parking.
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11.13.14, 07:58 PM
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OR: I would agree with you about the parking, but I don't even have a car. I grew up in the suburbs (it was more rural than suburb back in the day) and I just didn't like the aspect of having to drive to get anywhere. The city has spoiled me with respect to just having to walk around the block if I need something.
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11.13.14, 08:03 PM
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NYC for me personally
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11.13.14, 07:45 PM
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I think it depends on how many dc. I only have 1 in the city and love it, but I think 3+ kids would be easier in suburbs.
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11.13.14, 07:47 PM
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See, you can't really extricate cost of living from this thought-experiment. If you can afford to have some space in NYC- DCs in their own rooms, some place for them to play, cabs/Uber whenever you need to get from here to there, close proximity to CP or another outdoor space, good schools, etc, then the city wins hands down. If you can't, burbs might be easier.
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11.13.14, 07:47 PM
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For me, it's the suburbs, because we have a fenced-in yard where the kids can just be let loose, and we can bicycle everywhere (library, grocery store, school, park, shopping center).
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11.13.14, 07:47 PM
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all things being equal, including square footage, NYC
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11.13.14, 07:49 PM
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I live in Brooklyn and find it easier, walk everywhere, very close to (public) school, neighbors look out for each other, quick commute to work but can have a car for longer trips. Burbs is too much driving for me but Manhattan may be harder than burbs.
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11.13.14, 07:48 PM
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NYC as long as 1-2 kids. With 3+, transportation becomes very difficult.
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11.13.14, 07:49 PM
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I can't imagine NYC being easier.
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11.13.14, 07:56 PM
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I can't imagine 'burbs being easier - it's such an individual thing.
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11.13.14, 07:57 PM
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I only have two kids, but they are noisy boys. It has gotten much better since we moved, they can run around more, I am not always shussing them. We are happier, and they are actually better behavied.
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11.13.14, 07:55 PM
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Suburbs. Kids can run outside and play all day. I also find driving easier than walking everywhere, but I have four little kids so this might be an issue of numbers.
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11.13.14, 07:55 PM
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For me it's the burbs, but for others it might be the city.
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11.13.14, 08:00 PM
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Much easier in NYC. I can get grocery on my way home, and it's in and out. I can order delivery 24 hours a day.
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11.13.14, 08:01 PM
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How is this different than the burbs? I get groceries on my way home all the time...
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11.13.14, 08:10 PM
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So much easier. There really is a million things to do here. Even just going to a new playground is an adventure.
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11.13.14, 08:05 PM
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11.13.14, 07:36 PM
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If you care enough to post this question, then you are engaged. You're doing a good job, lady!
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11.13.14, 07:37 PM
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Ha, thanks ~
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11.13.14, 07:39 PM
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^ This is in the context of parent teacher conferences
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11.13.14, 07:37 PM
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The checked-out parent doesn't come to parent teacher conferences.
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11.13.14, 07:46 PM
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Not true. Teachers told us not to come - dc doing great - would rather parents who needed to talk have the time
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11.13.14, 08:04 PM
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I don't know one parent who would qualify as checked out.
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11.13.14, 07:43 PM
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Depends on child's age?
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11.13.14, 07:43 PM
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OP: Preschool
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11.13.14, 07:45 PM
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LOL
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11.13.14, 07:46 PM
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OP: I do dropoff but never pickup. I know the names and faces of all 15 kids in the class, and the personalities of about half of them, and they recognize me. Few of the parents recognize me as a parent (but then I'm a minority and a bit frumpy so I bear a strong resemblance to a few of the staff members). I guess what concerns me is that 4yo DD always complains about not getting enough mom time, that I'm too tired in the morning to pay attention to everything she says, and that 1-2 nights a week I'm not around to put her to bed. The other nights I'm home by 6 at latest.
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11.13.14, 07:49 PM
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np: I am much more of a checked out parent than you are. I know a handful of names and know nothing about these kids. I have 3 kids and consider myself a very hands on parent.
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11.13.14, 07:53 PM
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Thanks for the reality check NP. I think maybe DD's only childness is throwing me off.
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11.13.14, 07:59 PM
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np - don't let the guilt get to you. tell her that your time w/ her is even more special then if you were together more and that you really love your job....
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11.13.14, 07:52 PM
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11.13.14, 07:35 PM
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Look in the mirror and brush up your love and logic. It is a phase and this too shall pass.
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11.13.14, 07:38 PM
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NP: Yeah, I need to reread that book.
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11.13.14, 07:38 PM
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Constantly. Takes lots of deep breaths and inventing new games to play to keep me sane-ish.
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11.13.14, 07:37 PM
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What did you do when kids behaved that way when you were babysitting or nannying?
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11.13.14, 07:37 PM
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No, this never happens to anyone but you.
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11.13.14, 07:38 PM
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Read a story I read this morning in the Daily Mail about a father who lost his wife in childbirth, then the baby. Heartbreaking and puts everything in perspective. You will grab onto your child and never let go. We all go through days like this hang in there and take a deep breath.
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11.13.14, 07:39 PM
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No. You are the first person who has ever had their child get on their nerves.
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11.13.14, 07:44 PM
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11.13.14, 07:28 PM
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Dancing with the Stars
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11.13.14, 07:31 PM
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The voice.
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11.13.14, 07:33 PM
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This isn't a movie or show, but i love all of the celeb tabloids.
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11.13.14, 07:32 PM
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Daily Mail. Love.
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11.13.14, 07:51 PM
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say yes to the dress
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11.13.14, 07:34 PM
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Sadly I like it too. Dresses. Ooooh, pretty (or trashy, as many are).
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11.13.14, 07:37 PM
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True Tori
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11.13.14, 07:34 PM
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Impractical Jokers
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11.13.14, 07:40 PM
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Life below zero
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11.13.14, 07:38 PM
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chopped
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11.13.14, 07:39 PM
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GH
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11.13.14, 07:40 PM
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RHONJ
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11.13.14, 07:41 PM
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PBS Newshour
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11.13.14, 07:43 PM
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Bridges of Madison County
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11.13.14, 07:46 PM
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Teen Mom/16 & Pregnant
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11.13.14, 07:47 PM
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Sons of Anarchy
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11.13.14, 07:52 PM
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Anything Food Network
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11.13.14, 07:52 PM
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Diners drive-ins and dives
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11.13.14, 07:58 PM
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I stopped watching it - it was so repetitive.
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11.13.14, 08:04 PM
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I like Guy, but how many ways can you pull pork? Not many, apparently.
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11.13.14, 08:05 PM
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Ink Master!
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11.13.14, 08:08 PM
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11.13.14, 07:27 PM
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If he is an only child/first child, I think that is a pretty typical kid. My 4th who is 4.5 can go missing for quite some period of time.
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11.13.14, 07:28 PM
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I have an only who keeps herself busy plenty (4 yo)
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11.13.14, 07:32 PM
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Lucky.
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11.13.14, 07:36 PM
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Op: Yes, only. Drives me batshit.
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11.13.14, 07:36 PM
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Wean slowly using a timer. Mom is off duty for the next 20 minutes.... and just be unavailable to engage if she comes to you during that time.
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11.13.14, 07:36 PM
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No
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11.13.14, 07:32 PM
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Yes. Especially bright ones
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11.13.14, 07:35 PM
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depends on the day. my 3yo might sometimes play with a puzzle for fifteen minutes until she finishes it, or maybe do an art project for a while, but mostly she has lots of questions about various things.
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11.13.14, 07:37 PM
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If the only kid at home, pretty normal. Kids like company. in absence of siblings, they will demand attention of adults. My only was very demanding at home at that age, but take him anywhere else where there were other children he was lower maintenance than most kids.
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11.13.14, 07:37 PM
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Normal to me, I have a 4 yo and an older DS, 4 yo is terrible at entertaining himself, he either wants his brother (who isn't always interested) or me. I cannot even leave him in another room, he has to come and get me to entertain him.
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11.13.14, 07:52 PM
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