15 People You Will Meet on Tinder in Dallas

Categories: Dallas Stories

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By Amy McCarthy & Jaime-Paul Falcon
It's hard out there for the single people in Dallas to find a worthy date. After you've exhausted the pool at OkCupid, done a few speed dating events, and struck out at every bar in Dallas, the handheld meat-market that is Tinder is a particularly attractive option. More of you than ever are swiping left and right until Cupid's arrow strikes after having a few too many drinks, which means that there is a ripe pool of also-drunk people who are single and ready to e-mingle whenever you're down.

Of course, that also means that there are certain types of people that you meet on an app that chooses a match based on what a person's face looks like. This list of the 15 types of weirdos, freaks, and semi-normal people that you're most likely to find on Dallas-Fort Worth Tinder is highly scientific. We rigorously tested our theories by adding the app to our phones, drinking a lot, and swiping like we were trying to decide between having Uber hit Taco Cabana, or just take us straight home. Take a look, see if you recognize yourself, and if you do, well at least you know that you are not alone.

The Pet Person
Has a photo of either their pet, or them with their pet in their profile, and may, or may not refer to said pet as their child. There will be jokes about how any potential match has to pass the "Duke/Lola/Nolan/Bailey" test before things actually happen. Perpetually covered in pet hair, and can't wait to show you photos of the pet in a costume.

The Soundcloud Artist
"Hi! I'm not really looking for a date right now, but I thought you seemed cool, want to take a listen to my music? You might really like it, here's a link, and if you do like please send it to your friends!"

The Out of Towner
In town on business, and is just looking for someone to show them the around. Will most likely send you a dick pic after failing to get you drunk enough to go back to their room. Also, by "out of town" it's 90% likely they mean "drove in from Rockwall."


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9 comments
lawsuth
lawsuth

This article must have been written with an all-too-assertive auto-correct.

Sotiredofitall
Sotiredofitall topcommenter

Why the cheap shot at "Big Bang Theory" in an otherwise mildly amusing article?

sluggo_ut
sluggo_ut

When did the Observer become Buzzfeed?

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