Insert Alanis Morissette joke here.
Cookie Monster has a first name! And more.
“Are you open?”
Before there was @PharrellHat, there was @AngiesRightLeg.
You might want to turn up the Jimmy Buffett for this one. Or don’t, it’s all good.
Excuse the mess it made.
I’m sorry, what is this “snow shovel” that you speak of?
Before there was gluten-free, there were… your hippie parents.
Because if you don’t ~hilariously~ prank your kids, who will?
This costume is SUPREME.
Too bad there’s no Doritos emoji!
May all thine enemies rub their eyes, forgetting they’re wearing eyeliner.
Early to bed, early to rise makes a person AWESOME.
See how you compare with your peers when it comes to $$$.
Now THAT’S an accomplishment.
Like that time Moses checked out God’s butt. (It’s in there.)
It’s not just you! (Inspired by this Reddit thread.)
Ugh, let’s all change our careers to “reality TV personality.”
Hope you’re sitting down for this one.
Please write your responses on the back of your DMB ticket stubs.
