Even Though He Doesn't Smoke It Anymore, Marijuana Is at the Core of Kinky Friedman's Run for Public Office

Kinky Friedman hasn't smoked pot in more than 20 years, but that's not keeping him from running for Texas Agriculture Commissioner with legalizing cannabis as his main platform plank. So far, Democratic power brokers seem more willing to French-kiss a horned toad with bad breath than embrace Friedman's candidacy.

The "please, go away" looks are palpable, but no one really wants to debate this guy, look him in the eye or stand next to him in a photo op. You want to "out-Texas" Kinky Friedman? Go ahead on.

So now, if high-profile Alvin fastballer Nolan Ryan enters the fray on the Republican ticket as he has hinted, the race for Texas Agriculture Commissioner just might be Texas's top political circus of 2014 bar none, the stuff CNN and Fox and MSNBC can turn into CarMax ads for weeks and weeks. Even without Ryan, the race has the potential to create interesting ripples in a state that has been solidly red for two decades.

Daniel Kramer

Kinky Friedman says he's the only politician in the statewho isn't too chicken to propose legalizing marijuana.

Matt Lankes

Nolan Ryan pauses for a moment at his ranch.

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Don't worry about the fact that a recent national Gallup poll indicated 58 percent of Americans now favor full legalization and that most recent polls show the same percentage in Texas. Don't worry that the Agriculture Commissioner can't actually enact a law legalizing pot. Just understand that the Friedman camp plans to frame the race as a statewide referendum on legalization. Period.

Of course, Friedman's sincerity was immediately questioned. The day of his official announcement, Republican candidate Eric Opiela quickly issued a press release that characterized Friedman's candidacy as a joke, saying, "The issues facing Texas are serious. Our Agriculture Commissioner should be too."

"We need an agriculture commissioner," added Opiela, "who will focus on jobs, not jokes; drought, not drama and water lines, not punch lines."

Yes, it was that scripted and wooden.

Eye roll from Friedman, who says he expected GOP candidates would take a dismissive tack in responding to his candidacy.

"But if they really weren't worried about me, I don't think they'd have started attacking me immediately."

"Look, I'm 69, I don't have time for stunts," the musician, novelist, cigar and salsa salesman, tequila distiller, former Peace Corps volunteer and maverick politician explains as he walks up the Drag in Austin puffing his trademark cigar. "I'm dead serious about this run and about pushing for legalization. Marijuana is at the heart of a crucial matrix that, if we can get it straightened out and in motion, will become a great economic engine we can use to solve some of the biggest problems we face as a state.

"It's time Texans asked themselves: Are we going to secede or are we going to lead?"

Friedman, who lives on a ranch outside Kerr­ville where he operates an animal rescue charity and a youth camp, bolsters his contention that times and Texas attitudes are changing with examples of lawmen telling him we are losing the war on drugs and that they are wasting their time on small-time pot-smoking cases instead of tackling more serious crimes.

"I had a constable in Bandera tell me a few weeks ago that we're never going to win the so-called drug war, at least where pot is concerned," says Friedman. "And this is some guy who would be your worst redneck nightmare in a late-night traffic stop.

"He also told me that he has to go somewhere nearly every night and stop some guy who's had ten beers or four whiskeys from beating his wife, and that just doesn't happen with marijuana smokers. The only thing a marijuana smoker is likely to beat up is a bag of Doritos."

Friedman cites the cost to the public for enforcement of marijuana possession as "a $250 million economic burden that has zero return for the citizens of Texas."

"We've let these corporate prisons become holding tanks for pot smokers, and most of 'em are inner-city minorities," Friedman explains. "That's a sad commentary on how the system is broken. I doubt most Texans want an economy based on prisoners and prison jobs."
_____________________

While the blue-versus-red face-off between Fort Worth Democrat Wendy Davis and current Attorney General Gregg Abbott will likely be the most bitterly fought and heavily scrutinized statewide contest in 2014, the race for Agriculture Commissioner may well be more entertaining. As The Dallas Morning News has already pointed out, that down-ballot race used to be about candidates positioning themselves as the most legitimate rancher or farmer, but that is almost a non-factor for 2014.

Not only is the irreverent Friedman in the race, Rick Perry lieutenant and former state representative Sid Miller — who introduced the sonogram portion of the controversial abortion law that elicited then-unknown Davis's now-­famous filibuster, making her a national name literally overnight — is currently thought to be the most likely Republican to square off with Friedman next November.

Friedman's name-recognition factor dwarfs Miller's, but adding to the potential for a circus spectacle campaign as candidates duck and dodge the marijuana issue is the recent announcement that right-wing lightning rod, rock guitarist and gun control opponent Ted Nugent will serve as Miller's campaign treasurer. But all bets on Miller even winning the Republican primary are off if baseball celebrity and beef purveyor Nolan Ryan enters the field.